The Untitled Series
by WhisperingWolf
Summary: Set after new Moon. The Cullens realize exactly how much damage Edward's leaving caused Bella. A few simple words can cause immense pain and emotional wounds that only a family's love can heal, specifically the love of a father. Carlisle/Bella hurt/comfort. Summary crafted by the amazing kr2009 and anhanninen!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Her lips folded in over her teeth, nausea twisting her stomach into violent cramps as she leaned heavily against the bathroom door. He needed to hunt, she told herself, they all did. She had seen their dark eyes, knew that they had all gone too long since their last hunt and insisted that Edward get the bonding time he needed with his brothers. The whole family had been back for a little over a month now and the trouble with Italy was behind them. Whimpering in pain as she slid down the door to sit on the floor, Bella wrapped her arms around her stomach tightly and bent forward. Breathing harshly as she tried to subdue the bile climbing the back of her throat, she groaned painfully and struggled to her hands and knees as she crawled toward the toilet.

Lifting the lid and seat, Bella felt her whole body trembling as she pushed the porcelain pieces back on their hinges to stand against the tank. With barely enough time to wrap her hand around her hair, she lurched forward and emptied her stomach of the dinner she had eaten with Charlie not thirty minutes before. It seemed to take forever until the spasms stopped and she was able to sit back from the toilet. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she reached forward and flushed the toilet before falling back to sit with her back against the tub.

Tears pricked at her eyes like acid. The hot salt water drops blurring her vision and falling over her cheeks as she pulled her legs to her chest and touched her brow to her knees. It was only a week, she told herself again, just six days and he hadn't even left yet. He certainly wouldn't if he knew the condition she was in now. He needed to hunt; she told herself again and pressed the heel of her hand hard against her stomach as the cramping started all over again. A gasping sob broke from her as she felt overcome by helplessness and despair.

She had never told Edward how broken he had left her, never wanting him to know that she had nearly died without him. There were still times that Charlie would watch her cautiously when he thought she wasn't looking. She had learned how to fool him, or at least thought she had. Her hands shook as she gripped the side of the tub and stood with difficulty. She needed to get back to her room; she needed the Dramamine she had hidden inside the panel of her ridiculously old desktop computer. The tower was ancient, the machine barely functioning enough to get email and type her papers for school, but over the past several months the tower of the machine had become a hiding space.

She took Dramamine to help her keep her food down. It was for Charlie's benefit that she took it; he was the only one she ate with over the months that Edward and his family had been gone. A box of Unisom and Advil PM were kept inside the tower as well. The pills helped her get at least a little bit of sleep, but she would remain trapped inside her nightmares until their effects wore off enough for her to wake. Then there was the bottle of No-Doz kept in her backpack. She tried not to take those at all, but more often than not she needed the stimulants just to keep her eyes open enough to drive her truck. The only thing she couldn't hide were the tremors.

She didn't have them when Edward was around, but ever since they returned from Italy, whenever Edward was out of sight her hands would begin to tremble. At first it was a very light motion and fisting her hand would stop it from happening, but it seemed to get worse each time he was away from her. Yesterday in class her hands had been shaking so bad that she had to press them between her thighs just to keep them still. Closing her eyes as she reached for the bathroom door, she turned the handle and felt her hands shaking.

Sniffling back the tears, she swiped her hands over her face as she begged for the tears to stop, but knew they wouldn't. The only thing she was thankful for was that Charlie had accepted Billy Black's invitation to a three day fishing trip out on their favorite lake and had left directly after dinner. Making her way back to her bedroom on unsteady feet, she closed her bedroom door behind her and looked to the window. Edward wouldn't be coming tonight. He and the others had left to go hunting in Canada's big game country barely an hour after school had let out for Spring Break. The only ones still left in Forks were Carlisle and Emmett.

Laughing softly to herself as she fell to sit in her desk chair, she shook her head as she lifted trembling hands to the computer tower. Carlisle had stayed behind because he had to work, but Emmett had stayed behind because Rosalie was still mad at him. He had voted yes to her becoming a vampire and Rosalie was still furious with him over it. Grinding her teeth together as she focused all her energy on undoing the snaps and screws to get the side panel off of the computer tower, she took out her bottle of Dramamine.

"Oh come on," she whispered helplessly as she heard the distinct lack of sound from the medicine bottle.

Opening the lid took effort and she felt her chin tremble as she looked inside. There was nothing but dust left behind and she knew that she wouldn't be able to survive the night, not to mention the coming week, without the medicine. Closing her eyes tightly, she was glad that she had been able to swear a promise out of Alice not to watch her through her visions while she was out hunting. She knew that if Alice had seen her like this in her visions, Edward would come home and refuse to hunt as he needed to. A shaking breath fell from her as she stood and moved toward her coat lying across the end of her bed.

Slipping her arms into the sleeves of the coat and biting her lip hard enough that she thought it might bleed; she struggled with the zipper as she was finally able to close the jacket around her. Edward hadn't stayed with her last night and her resulting nightmares had only been silenced by taking a double dose of sleeping pills. Closing her eyes as she struggled against her shaking hands, she put her key in the door of her truck and opened the lock before climbing inside to start the engine.

She drove slower than the posted speed limit as she made her way down to the drugstore in town and fought to keep from crying. The words wouldn't go away, the harsh remarks made with the intent of being cruel cycling through her mind like a merry-go-round. Those months without Edward and his family were a daze and while she had been able to shut out everyone else, she hadn't been able to shut out Lauren Mallory. What was worse was that Jessica seemed to be good friends with Lauren and both shared a jealousy over her relationship with Edward.

Parking her ancient red truck in close to the doors, Bella failed to notice the black Mercedes parked three spaces down. Her legs were unsteady when she slipped from the truck and she feared that she would fall more than once as she made her way to the door and pulled it open to step inside the drugstore. Her arms were crossed tightly over chest, her fists hidden as she fought to keep control of her trembling and moved over the familiar path to the aisle that she needed. Closing her eyes against the bright lights overhead, she pinched the bridge of her nose and fought against the headache pounding inside her skull.

Opening her eyes and looking at the shelf in front of her, she felt close to tears once more. The box that usually held the vials of Dramamine was empty. She moved it, searched behind and around it, but there was nothing. The anti-nausea medicine was gone, out of stock and she fisted her hands against the cramping of her stomach. Shaking her head and turning around, Bella knew she would find no peace tonight and hoped that the medicine would be restocked by the next morning. Blinking tiredly as she made her way out the door, she never heard the conversation taking place behind her.

**:::::**

There had been so many excuses he could have given for his last minute departure from Forks Hospital, but Carlisle was glad now for the one that he had chosen. Stepping out to his car and shaking his head as a lopsided smile graced his lips, he found it amusing how instantly and unquestioningly the hospital staff had believed that he'd been called to fill in for a friend overseas. Everyone was all too ready to believe that he had worked with _Doctors Without Borders_ over the months that he had been gone, his family leaving to stay with friends while he was away. It still surprised him that the Chief of Staff never questioned his excuse, but he was glad that he didn't.

Pressing down on the keychain remote, he unlocked the Mercedes and opened the driver's side rear door to drop his medical bag and briefcase inside. He frowned as he shut the door and looked at his things set inside. Normally he put them on the passenger seat next to him, but something was telling him not to. Something inside him was telling him he would need the passenger seat for another reason tonight and he wasn't sure what that was. Lifting his eyes brows in a fleeting expression of a shrug, Carlisle slipped behind the wheel and started the engine before pulling out of the hospital parking lot.

Slowing to a stop at a red light, Carlisle caught sight of the drugstore ahead of him on the left and waited for the light to change before pulling into the parking lot. While there were a few prescriptions he had written during his shift for patients, he had no reason to stop in at the store, but parked his car anyway. He had almost always called in any drug interaction warnings or special instructions, but tonight he felt the unmistakable need to go inside. If nothing more he could pick up a few teas for Bella, hoping that he would see her sometime this week while his family was gone.

His brow furrowed as he stepped inside the quiet pharmacy and made his way to the back where the man was working. He couldn't help his worry for Bella, the girl he considered a daughter had most definitely lost weight in their absence. He had been too worried over Edward to pay her the close attention she needed, but even still he had been able to tell that something wasn't quite right. Her eyes seemed a little too quick to follow Edward's movements whenever he left her side, and while she had always been a quiet girl, her silence since their return had been disconcerting.

Greeting the middle aged man behind the counter, Carlisle spoke with him quietly as he advised of the patients and prescriptions he had written. He handed over copies of the scripts and listened as the man spoke of his family, nodding every so often in a show of interest. Taking in a breath with which to speak, Carlisle fell silent and frowned as a familiar scent caught his attention. Turning his head in the direction of the girl, he turned and frowned deeply as he looked at her only able to see her from the back.

"Dr. Cullen," the pharmacist said his name as he turned away from the bottles of medicine and noticed his distraction. Following the direction of Carlisle's gaze, he sighed softly. "Poor thing, I'm out of what she's looking for."

"Does Bella come in here often?" Carlisle asked as he looked back at the man and noticed the bottles in his hands. "This one," he tapped on the lid in the man's left hand.

"Thanks," he said and set the other aside. "Yeah, she comes in here about once every two weeks; at least she has for the past six months. Always the same things."

"What does she buy?" Carlisle asked curiously as he turned back to see her moving something on the shelf.

"Unisom, No Doz and Dramamine," the man said and watched as Carlisle turned back to him with a startled expression.

"Sedatives, stimulants and anti-nausea medicine?" Carlisle asked, his brow furrowed in worry and confusion.

"Yeah," the man nodded. "Though she usually comes in about once a week for the Dramamine. I don't know how she goes through it so fast, but I've tried to keep it in supply for her. I ran out yesterday, won't be getting anymore in until Wednesday."

Carlisle nodded slowly and offered the man a few kind words in parting before he followed Bella out of the store. He found her standing next to her truck, her hand shaking enough that the keys fell from her grip. His brows furrowed as he watched her kneel to pick up the keys only to fold in on herself as she pressed a hand against her stomach and grimaced. Sighing silently with worry, Carlisle stepped up behind her when she stood and put the key in the car door to unlock it.

"There is no way in good conscience that I could allow you to drive in your condition," Carlisle said softly and watched Bella spin around to stare at him with wide eyes. "Leave your truck here, I'll have Emmett come collect it," he told her softly as he held his hand out for her keys.

Her lips moved a few times before she found her voice. "C-Carlisle, I'm fine."

"No, you are not," he countered gently, and nodded toward her truck. "Give me your keys."

His voice was gentle; his tone soothing and calm even as he made it clear that he would accept no argument from her on the matter. Biting her tongue as she turned and gripped the silver key stuck in the door lock, Bella closed her eyes as she found that it was taking too much concentration to grip the piece of carved metal enough to pull it from the lock. She heard the soft sound of Carlisle's sigh and took in a startled breath as he quietly reached around her to pull the keys from the lock. She wasn't sure what she was expecting him to do then, but feared the disappointment she thought she would see in his gaze if she looked into his face. What she wasn't prepared for was the moment when he turned her around with his hand on her shoulder and drew her into the circle of his arms.

"It will be alright, sweetheart," Carlisle promised her gently and smoothed his hand down over the length of her hair as he felt her trembling in his arms. "Come now, let's go home."

He dropped a kiss to her hair before loosing his arms from around her and guiding her over to his car with a hand in the small of her back. Unlocking the doors, he stepped up to the passenger side and held her door open for her waiting until she had settled herself inside before closing the door for her. The feel of her trembling had him more than worried and the knowledge he had gained from the pharmacist only fueled his concern. That she had been using such medicines for the past six months, and seemed to still be using them, had his protective instincts in overdrive.

"You can't keep warm, can you?" he asked as he watched her from his seat behind the wheel, starting the engine as he backed out of the parking space.

"It's been colder than usual," she defended softly and fisted her trembling hands when she saw the muscle in his jaw tick.

"When did you start taking the medicines?" he asked gently as he turned the heater and seat warmer on low for her.

"What?" Bella asked with wide eyes and fought to keep her trembling hidden.

Sighing softly as he turned onto the road that would lead them out of town, he took one hand off the wheel and held it out to her. Waiting until she placed her trembling palm in his, he gently closed his fingers over her hand and smoothed his thumb over the back of her hand. He could feel her bones too easily, her skin too dry and frowned at the knowledge that she was underfed and very likely dehydrated. Lifting her hand gently, he placed it over the vent and covered her hand with his for a single moment before returning his hand to the wheel.

Studying her from the corner of his eye, Carlisle watched as she fought against her drooping eyes and pressed his lips together in a worried line. She didn't want to sleep, that much was clear, but she definitely needed to sleep. He began to hum softly, a low familiar tune that Esme would sometimes sing when she worked in the greenhouse. He kept his voice low and watched her as he turned onto the private drive leading to their house. By the time he had pulled up to the house she was asleep. Turning off the engine, he turned in his seat and looked at her as she slept, taking the quiet moments to observe her freely.

There were smudges under her eyes, the skin looking a bit puffy. Reaching out silently, he touched his hand to her cheek and then her brow frowning as he felt the excess heat of her skin. Looking up at the soft sound of his name being called, Carlisle met Emmett's eyes through the passenger window and nodded as he unlocked the doors. He watched as his son opened Bella's door and folded himself inside over her as he unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted her into his arms. Stepping from the car, Carlisle gathered his briefcase and medical bag from the back before following his son inside.

Setting his things down by the door, Carlisle nodded for Emmett to follow him and led him upstairs to the room he shared with Esme. Stepping up to the large bed and pulling back the covers, Carlisle stood aside and waited as Emmett laid Bella down in the bed, watching as his son cradled her head as he lowered her to the pillows.

"Should we change her into something more comfortable?" Emmett asked as he removed her shoes and watched as Carlisle removed her jacket.

"Yes," Carlisle nodded and debated as he thought of changing Bella's clothes. "Remove her sweater and jeans while I gather something of Esme's," he instructed his son and moved from his seat beside Bella.

His lips bent down in a frown as he moved closer and unsnapped Bella's jeans. He knew that she wouldn't be happy if she woke and found them undressing her like this, but Emmett also knew that she wouldn't sleep well if left in the clothing she was in. Narrowing his eyes as he gently drew the rough denim down her legs, he frowned at how thin she was beneath her clothing. Looking up as Carlisle returned with a set of Esme's loose flowing lounge pants and a soft top, he watched as his father frowned.

"She's lost weight," Emmett said needlessly and watched Carlisle nod.

Bella moaned softly, her heart picking up speed even as her eyes remained closed. She whimpered softly and Emmett bent down over her as he laid his hand on the pillow next to her head and smoothed his thumb against her temple. He whispered to her softly as he watched her eyes flutter open, tears glistening in her dark depths.

"Em'm't," she mumbled his name almost incoherently and he nodded quietly before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"I'm here, Bella," he promised her and watched her fight against the exhaustion. "No, shh," he whispered to her and touched her cheek. "Go to sleep for me ok? At least try," he requested and saw the fear in her eyes.

"Don't leave," she begged of him and he knew that she never would have spoken her request had her mind not been so clouded by exhaustion.

"I'll be right here with you," he promised her and touched her cheek. "Just go to sleep for me, little one."

He watched as she blinked slowly, each time longer than the last until her eyes remained closed. He waited another moment until he was certain that she was asleep once more before he sat back and stood aside as Carlisle changed her into the borrowed clothing. Tucking the covers around her, Carlisle bent down over her and kissed her brow before standing from the bed. Gathering her discarded clothes and jacket, he moved to carry them out of the room when heard her phone vibrate and begin to ring. Taking the device from her coat pocket, he stepped into the hall and pulled the door closed as he answered her father's call.

"Hello, Charlie," Carlisle greeted and was met with a moment of silence.

"Carlisle?" Charlie spoke the man's name with confusion. "Is Bells alright?"

"She's resting," Carlisle said and pursed his lips. "She wasn't feeling well and when I learned you were away for the weekend I insisted that she stay with us, I hope that's alright," he said and smiled at Charlie's soft grunt. "It's just Emmett and I," Carlisle chuckled softly. "Edward and the others are out camping, but I had to work."

"Emmett's a good kid," Charlie agreed reluctantly. "I can come home, if she's sick."

"Don't worry about it, Charlie," Carlisle assured him. "She's fine here, it's no trouble."

"Thanks," he said and Carlisle smiled at how much Charlie reminded him of Bella. "Let her know I called?"

"Of course," Carlisle smiled and chuckled when the line dropped.

It wasn't the first time that Carlisle had thought Bella shared more of her father's traits than her mother's. He had met Renee in Phoenix and while the woman may have raised Bella, her daughter was nothing like her at all. He had seen how quick Bella was to reassure her mother that she was fine, even going as far as hiding any signs of pain or exhaustion from her during her hospital stay following James' attack. It wasn't the first time he wondered who had actually taken care of whom in that relationship. Bella seemed far more motherly toward Renee, comforting and assuring her all the time that she was fine. He wondered then as he had back in Phoenix, if Bella had been the one taking care of Renee instead of the other way around.

Taking Bella's clothes and jacket downstairs, he put them into the front loading washer and smiled softly as he thought of Esme. She would want for Bella to have clean warm clothes to put on once she woke and would insist upon washing her clothing as he was doing now. His brow furrowed as he added the bit of soap and turned on the machine. Turning around as his mind replayed the brief interaction between Bella and his son, he realized that Emmett had seen her in a similar state before. Perhaps not as sickly as she was now, but her trouble with sleeping did not seem to surprise Emmett. Returning to his bedroom, he opened the door to find his son leaning against the headboard of the bed with Bella tucked against his side.

"You've seen her like this before," Carlisle said softly as he looked at his son.

Emmett nodded silently as he pulled the blankets up around Bella's shoulders. She stirred against him, her breath hitching as a pained whimper sounded from her softly. He shushed her gently, looking up when Carlisle moved to sit on Bella's side opposite him. Carlisle touched Bella's hair as he waited for his son to answer him, hoping to give his sleeping human daughter the comfort of their presence.

"After Phoenix," Emmett began softly. "After James when we brought Bella home, I used to watch over her sometimes when Edward would leave to hunt." Emmett was silent for a moment as he looked down on Bella before meeting his father's eyes once more. "She'd have nightmares, pretty bad ones. I don't know if she didn't have them when Edward was with her, or if she just hid them when he was around, but I found after awhile that if I held her while she slept they didn't seem so bad. She'd still have them, still wake up like she was fighting or searching for something, but they never seemed this bad. This is the first time I've seen her since we came back," he tipped his head, "well since the night of the vote anyway."

Carlisle nodded, "She's dehydrated to say the least," he said as he touched Bella's face. "Stay with her, I'm going to pick up a few things from the hospital for her."

"The hospital?" Emmett asked as he glanced down at Bella. "She's that bad?"

Pressing his lips together in worry, Carlisle met Emmett's gaze. "I discovered this evening that during the entire time we were gone she has been taking sedatives to help her sleep, stimulants to keep her awake during the day and anti nausea medicine."

Emmett frowned deeply at that and slid down to lie next to Bella on the pillows as he pulled her against his chest when she whimpered in her sleep again. Kissing her forehead as he spoke to her softly, he encouraged her to sleep and promised her that she wasn't alone. It had been a point of contention in the beginning that Edward wouldn't tell anyone what he had said to Bella, only telling them that he had made it clear they were leaving. He wondered now, as he had several times before, exactly what it was his brother had said to the girl in his arms.

Thinking back to the last time he had held her while she slept, Emmett looked up at Carlisle and asked him to bring a book from the shelves by the window. He remembered that she had slept better when he had read aloud to her and smiled softly when his father handed him Anne of Green Gables. Accepting the book from Carlisle as he kept Bella tucked in his arms, Emmett opened the novel and began to read aloud, keeping his voice soft and inflecting just enough of the famous vampire charm to make his soothing baritone work as a lullaby of sorts.

Looking down as he felt her hand move from beneath the blankets, Emmett smiled to see her clutching his shirt in her loose fist. He looked up when Carlisle reached out to tuck Bella's hair behind her ear and found his father's expression to be full of worry and grief for the girl. Leaning down over them, Carlisle pressed a gentle kiss to Bella's cheek and stood from the bed.

"I shouldn't be too long," he assured Emmett and reached into his pocket for Bella's phone. "Charlie called a few minutes ago. Keep this close in case he or Edward calls for her."

"I want to know what he said to her," Emmett said in a low voice, his words almost growled.

"So do I," Carlisle said and walked out of the room.

He released a silent sigh as he pulled the door almost closed and looked at the painted wood barrier. He had been suspicious before that Bella wasn't doing as well as she wanted everyone to believe, but now he had undeniable proof. His eyes fell closed as his mind once more played over what the pharmacist had told him. Every two weeks Bella needed to buy sedatives and stimulants and almost every week she had to buy anti nausea medicine. She couldn't sleep, couldn't seem to stay awake and most likely wasn't able to keep anything down.

"Oh my daughter," he thought aloud, his voice barely a whisper as he moved back down the stairs and to the front door. "I will fix this. Somehow, I will fix this."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

She shook her head, trying desperately to deny his words as he stood in front on her. His words hurt, the cutting damnation dressed as truths were spoken in gentle earnest and she felt the tears burning behind her eyes like acid. If she could make him stay, make him come back, she would do anything, give anything, _be_ anything he wanted her to be. She couldn't breathe as she watched him turn away, her lungs burning with need for air even as she felt powerless to draw it in and moved after him to stop his retreat. She called his name as the first aching sob tore from her throat and felt as though her heart were being unmercifully crushed in her chest.

"Please," she called out, shaking her head as she moved after him.

She called his name brokenly, her voice unable to rise above a whisper even as her desperation increased to a maddening level. She stumbled after him, her sneakered feet slipping on wet leaves and loose rocks as the forest turned dark around her. She tried to follow him further, falling to her knees as she tripped over a fallen sapling, her tears staining her cheeks as she collapsed to the forest floor. This was too much like before, too much like the other time, the first time and her tears burned her from the inside out as the forest around her changed into another memory from a lifetime ago.

She was barely six years old, her small arms reaching out as she fought against the arms holding her. She didn't want to leave him. She needed her father; needed to be with him and cried as her mother carried her out of the house and to the packed car waiting in the drive. He loved her; he protected her and read to her at night. He had promised to always be there with her, promised her he loved her no matter what, but now as she was being taken away from him he didn't even put up a fight. She sobbed then, falling against her mother's shoulder as her heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces too small to fit back together.

He hadn't put a fight, hadn't come after her and as she was strapped into the front seat of the car, Bella realized that he hadn't said he loved her before they left. She squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell, her throat becoming raw and burning with the force of the sobs wailing from her. The only thing she knew, the only thing she could understand or remember was that her father, the most important person in the world to her, hadn't stopped her from trying to leave. He had let her go; he had sent her away with her mother as though she meant nothing to him.

She grew quiet then, sniffling in the corner of the front seat with her small head resting half on the car door, half on the window. She had thought he loved her, but now as her mother drove away from the house it felt as though that must have been a lie. Her head hurt from the force of her tears, her chest feeling as though someone had punched a hole through it and ripped out her heart. Now who would she turn to when the shadows got too close or when someone was mean to her at school? Who would protect her from the monsters under her bed and the nightmares that she wouldn't remember upon waking?

She looked back at her mother, watching as somehow the woman changed and memories flowed past them too fast for her to hold onto. From the moment they had left Forks her world had changed drastically. No longer was she the one being taken care of and protected; now it was her filling those roles instead. She was the one taking care of her mother, reminding her of what they needed to buy and when she had her projects to turn in at work. It was she who began cooking the meals, her mother's inability to make a simple can of soup leaving them in danger of going broke from eating out too often. She was the one who comforted her mother through one heartbreak after another and it was she who did the laundry and the dishes and took care of balancing the checkbook.

Her pain exhausted her, her aching heart feeling as though it was torn and bleeding inside her chest. Sniffling back her tears and blinking slowly, her breath caught in throat as she opened her eyes. Her fear returned, her heart beating a furious rhythm too fast for her to comprehend as she watched Edward being attacked again and again by Felix. He was protecting her, trying not to let them kill her, but all of this was her fault. If not for her, Edward and his family wouldn't be in danger, if not for her…

She screamed for them to stop, pleaded for Aro to take her life instead of Edward's and watched terrified as Jane inflicted her talent upon those she loved. She begged for Jane to stop, fell to her knees as she sobbed brokenly and watched in horror as Alice and Edward were ripped apart in front of her. In ribbons of pain and terror the castle room she was in changed, morphing into the ballet studio and she screamed as she felt the burning agony of her leg being snapped by James.

She was alone in the ballet studio with him, listened as he taunted her and cried as she realized that this time no one was coming for her. She called out for Edward, for Alice and Carlisle even as a part of her mind told her that this was how it should have ended. This would have been better, she told herself as she watched James stalk toward her. This would have kept Edward safe. She closed her eyes as James took her hand and bit into her wrist, screamed as the fire of his venom spread through veins and sobbed when she opened her eyes to find herself back in the forest as she stood in front of Edward. Throughout it all, only four words made it through to her, Edward's voice speaking them over and over like a mantra until she began to believe them as truth.

"You're not good enough."

She fell to the ground as he walked away, too broken to even try to rise and willing the ground beneath her to swallow her whole. She couldn't do this, she couldn't go through this again and wished fervently for an end to the madness clouding her mind and twisting her heart. She wanted the numbness back; she needed the darkness of the disconnection. She needed the comforting deafness of a pain so deep she could no longer feel it. Instead she was left with this tearing agony that made her certain she was being crushed alive.

She heard a voice calling out to her, but shook her head and wished for them to go away as she folded in on herself. There was too much pain, too much heartache and she couldn't make it stop even if she wanted to. She just wanted it to end. Gasping as she felt herself lifted into a strong pair of arms, she kept her eyes closed out of fear of more pain, and sobbed as she felt whoever it was sit on the fallen log behind her. She was being cradled in someone's lap, the person talking to her, comforting her and she cried harder as she allowed herself to listen to the voice.

She felt as though she were breaking again, the person holding her now encouraging her to open her eyes, but she was afraid to do so. He loved her; he comforted her and gave her the affection and protective love she had never felt from her own parents and the thought of waking to find him only a dream terrified her. She couldn't open her eyes; she couldn't give in to Carlisle's pleading demands because she knew if she did he would be gone. She felt his hand cup her cheek, his cool skin heaven against her overheated face and felt even more broken by how real it felt when he smoothed away her tears.

"Please, sweetheart, open your eyes," Carlisle pleaded with her and finally, with terror and reluctance, she gave into his request.

The forest she had been in melted away and at first his burnt-honey eyes, full of compassion and worry, were all that she saw. She breathed in deeply, sniffling back her tears as her breath came in heavy aching pants and her brow furrowed in confusion. Why hadn't he disappeared? Was she still dreaming? She saw the tiny bit of relief flash through his eyes only to be quickly doused by concern as she sat up from the reclined cradle of his arm and looked around the room. She spotted Emmett instantly, the other vampire who had become her rock when she felt unable to reveal to Edward her fears, moved closer to her and touched his bent fingers to her dampened cheek.

"Whe-"

The question she had started to ask was cut off with a painful groan as she wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling the vicious cramps twisting her insides again. She feared she would be sick, tried to move out of Carlisle's arms in order to run to the bathroom, but felt herself held closer instead as a pale hand brought a metal bowl into her lap. Embarrassment burned through her, but the cramps were too violent to ignore, too insistent to gain control over and before she could even think of refusing the basin, she found herself vomiting into the bowl.

Cool hands held her hair back at the nape of her neck as another hand rubbed soothing circles between her shoulders. Soothing words were spoken to her softly, cool breath ruffling her hair as she felt lips press a kiss to her head. It wasn't long before her rebellious stomach calmed, there wasn't much left in it to expel, and she fell against Carlisle's shoulder with a whimper as the tears gathered in her eyes spilled upon her cheeks. She was too tired to keep her eyes open as someone gently wiped her mouth with a soft cloth and held a small cup to her lips as they encouraged her to rinse.

It was only after she had spit the mix of water and mouthwash into the bowl that she felt her face being gently wiped with a cool damp cloth and barely a second later heard the sound of the toilet flushing. She heard Carlisle's soft tenor conversing with Emmett's rich baritone but was too tired to make sense of their words. She felt cool hands gently take hold of her arm and unfold it, the man's thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of her wrist as a tiny cold swab was applied to the outside of her shoulder. She hated needles and thought she had uttered a protest only to hear a muted groan instead.

"Shh," Carlisle soothed as he carefully slipped the needle into her skin and injected her with the anti nausea medicine he knew she wouldn't be able to swallow. "It will be alright, Sweetheart. We'll take care of you," he promised her and hoped the medicine he gave her would be more effective than the Dramamine.

"Sedative?" Emmett asked softly as he watched Bella give into her exhaustion.

"No," Carlisle pressed his lips together as he set the syringe aside on the table behind him and held Bella close as he rubbed her back. "Anti nausea medicine. It's the same strength and dose we give to pregnant women when the morning sickness becomes too much for their bodies to handle. I'm hoping it will bring her some comfort; perhaps even allow her to eat a little bit."

"I couldn't wake her up," Emmett said as he looked at his sleeping sister with a deep frown. "I tried. I called to her, I shook her as much as I dared, but I could get her to wake up."

Reaching out and laying a hand on his son's shoulder he waited for Emmett's eyes to meet his before he spoke.

"The important part is that we were finally able to get her to wake, Emmett," he said as he offered his son comfort. "Sometimes the dream just has to finish before the mind will accept anything else. It's not your fault, Emmett." Looking down at Bella, he touched his hand to her cheek before lifting her from his lap. "Shh," he soothed when her eyes snapped open tiredly and she grasped onto his sweater with a desperate hold. "I'll be right back, Bella, I promise," he said as Emmett enfolded her in his arms.

She tried to speak, tried to beg him not to leave her but couldn't get out anything more than incoherent mumbles. Her mind was too tired for her to process the words she wanted to speak and she panted harshly as she tried to hold onto his clothing. He bent down over her, soothing her again with his voice as he kissed her brow and touched her cheek. His fingers slid into her palm; gently uncurling her fist and he lowered her hand to rest on the bed as he pulled the blankets up under her chin. The tremors rocking through her were a mix of her upset and the shivering caused by the frequent chills tormenting her because, even with the three heavy blankets, she was unable to stay warm.

"I won't be long," he promised her and kissed her forehead once more before standing straight and taking the used syringe and wrappings from the bedside table.

He looked back as he stepped toward the open door, watching as she turned to bury her face in Emmett's shoulder and mourned the scent of her tears that filled the air. He heard Emmett growl softly, the sound a promise of protection, and watched as Bella's trembling seemed to calm. Nodding once to himself as he continued along his path and stepped out of the room, Carlisle carried the things in his hands down to his office and disposed of them in the medical disposal container he had started keeping in his office since Bella became a part of their lives. Taking in a deep breath as he searched for a calm he didn't quite feel, he moved into the kitchen and filled the tea kettle with water.

Setting the teapot on the stove and turning the burner on high, he moved to the hall closet and smiled as he silently thanked his wife's thoughtfulness. Taking the red rubber hot water bottle from the high shelf, he carried it back into the kitchen and set it on the counter. He found himself longing for the days when he would have a fire already burning in the bedroom and a pan with which to put hot coals in to warm the bed. He didn't have that now, modern conveniences having done away with the centuries old method and sighed softly as he waited for the water to boil.

Bella had spoken in her sleep, the words slurred together and not making much sense to him. Crossing his arms over his chest as his brow furrowed, he looked down at the floor. Carlisle tried to make sense of what she had said, but found himself lacking any kind of explanation. He wanted to help her, he _needed_ to help her, but he couldn't until he knew the full story and there was a part of him that doubted she would give the truth willingly. She kept too much to herself, hiding her hurt and fear until it tore its way out through her dreams. Pressing his lips together in a thin worried line, he looked up at the first soft sounds of the tea kettle's whistle.

Uncorking the red rubber bag in his hand, he turned off the stove and carefully poured the boiling water inside. Replacing the plastic seal and turning the bag to make certain no water escaped the cap, he carried it upstairs. The words she spoke wouldn't leave him, haunting his mind as they repeated within like a mantra and he stopped halfway up the staircase as his eyes narrowed and he tried once more to make sense of them.

"I'll be better," Carlisle spoke Bella's words aloud, his voice but a whisper, and shook his head. "Better at what?" he asked of no one as he continued his journey up the stairs.

Stepping into the room he shared with Esme, he smiled sadly at the sight of his children that filled the bed. Moving to the end of the bed near Bella's feet, he lifted the blankets and tucked the water bottle inside. He hoped the added heat would bring her some comfort and looked at Emmett with a curious expression when his son tipped his head toward the bed.

"She's not asleep, not yet," Emmett said, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "She keeps opening her eyes every now and then looking for you."

A small sad smile tugged his lips up at the side and Carlisle moved closer to the bed as he stepped out of his shoes. Removing the tie from underneath his sweater, he sat down on the bed behind Bella before lying down and curling his body around hers protectively. She whimpered softly, her head turning to look at him as her eyes remained only barely open. Kissing her temple and encouraging her gently to sleep, Carlisle promised her that he would stay with them and shushed her gently when she tried to speak.

"It's alright, Sweetheart," Carlisle said as he tugged the blankets up higher around her shoulders. "I'm right here, so is Emmett."

"Don't leave," she begged, the words slurred together and almost incoherent.

"We won't," Carlisle assured her and smoothed his hand down over her hair. "Go to sleep, Sweetheart. We'll be here when you wake."

She turned her face back to Emmett and tucked her head under his chin as she finally gave into the darkness tugging at her brain. Sleep came quickly to her and both vampires curled around her listened intently to the rhythm of her heart as they kept watch for any sign she may be having another nightmare. Each one of his children was precious to him, both those he had changed himself and those he had not. To see any of them in pain was difficult, but to see Bella like this and know that there was little he could do to battle her dreams was almost torture for him and Carlisle was powerless against the worry that held him bound to her side.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Emmett asked softly and watched Carlisle nod once, his expression full of regret. "What can I do to help her while you're gone?"

"I'll give her another dose of the anti nausea medicine before I leave for the hospital. I should set up a saline drip for her now to help with the dehydration, but that will take a few hours at least to complete. I don't want to run the risk of her tearing out the cannula if she has another nightmare tonight." Carlisle sighed as he touched the back of his bent finger to her cheek. "She has a mild fever. Try and make sure she eats something tomorrow, soup or yoghurt, something light until she can keep the food down. Watch her for any signs that she may be ill, aside from what her nightmares are causing. Any signs of flu or illness let me know of immediately."

"Is there anything else I can do?" Emmett asked and growled softly to soothe Bella back to sleep when she stirred slightly. "Anything else I should look out for?"

Pursing his lips as he nodded, Carlisle spoke softly to Bella when she stirred between them again and hushed her gently. Soothing her with his voice and promising her that she was safe, he kissed her hair. Her breath hitched, broken whimpers beginning to form mumbling words and both Emmett and Carlisle's expressions held grief and worry when she begged for Edward to come back to her. Carlisle gently turned her onto her back and smoothed his hand against her cheek as tears began to seep from between her lashes.

"Oh baby girl," Carlisle mourned her pain as he kissed her temple. "We're home, Sweetheart. You're not alone."

Her eyes fluttered open halfway, her tears and exhaustion blurring her vision as she turned her head toward Carlisle, responding to the sound of his voice. She mumbled his name as she struggled to get her arms out from underneath the blankets, her movements clumsy and slow. She reached out for him and he accepted her immediately, holding her when she wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing her hair as he turned to lie on his back, Carlisle pulled Bella gently until she was lying half on top of him and rubbed her back slowly while he soothed her with his voice as he sang to her.

"Hush a bye…don't you cry…go to sleep, my little ba-aby," Carlisle's low tenor was melodic and gentle as he sang to her and felt her relax against him as she settled once more into sleep. "When you wake you shall have all the pretty little po-onies…"

"Did you ever have kids?" Emmett asked quietly a few moments after Carlisle finished the song.

"What?" Carlisle frowned as he looked at Emmett.

"When you were human," he clarified, "did you ever have kids?"

"No," Carlisle smiled a bit sadly and petted Bella's hair slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"You take to it so naturally with her, you have with all of us," Emmett gave a soft pout as he shrugged. "I just thought that maybe you were a dad before you were turned."

"No," Carlisle smiled as he looked down on Bella and tipped his head up from the pillow to kiss her hair. "I never even had a wife or a lover. I always wanted a family though. A large family," he laughed softly.

"Well you certainly have that now," Emmett teased and listed to his father chuckle.

"Yes, I suppose I do," Carlisle agreed.

**:::::**

Alice stopped running as she came to the edge of the cliff, knowing that she was far enough outside of Edward's range that he wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts or see her visions. Sitting down in the flowering grasses, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes as she gave herself over to her visions. Smiling softly as she felt herself being gently lifted and settled into Jasper's lap, she turned and curled against him, her arm going around his back as she tucked her head under his chin. She felt him kiss her hair and use his talent to wrap her in the warmth of his love. Sighing softly as she pressed her hand against his chest, she watched over Carlisle and Emmett as they guarded Bella in her sleep.

She frowned, her anger at Edward drawing Jasper's attention and he let her feel the tendrils of his curiosity and concern. Tipping her head up to look at him, she met his lips for a kiss before telling him everything she had seen in her visions from the moment Carlisle had found Bella outside the drugstore. He rubbed her back as he frowned, worry gripping his heart as he felt that he was once again to blame for all that had happened. Looking down when Alice slapped her hand against his chest, he felt the silent reprimand mixed with the fierceness of her love and smiled sadly.

He knew that she hated it when he blamed himself, but who else was there to blame? It was his lack of control that had led to Bella getting hurt and Edward demanding that they all leave in the first place. It was true that he had lost control before and while he had hated himself for it each time previously, this time it was much worse. This time he hadn't lost control with a stranger or a simple acquaintance, this time he had lost control with his own sister. Whether Edward had wanted to admit it at the time or not, it had been clear to him from the beginning that Edward and Bella were mates, the truth of it written in their emotions.

"Stop that," Alice spoke aloud as she framed his face with her hands and pulled his head down to look into his eyes. "Bella doesn't blame you, she never did. It's time you stopped blaming yourself."

"You said it yourself, Ali," Jasper sighed sadly. "She's suffering."

"Not because of what you did. You weren't there when Edward came to us and demanded that we leave. He wouldn't tell any of us what he said to Bella or how he left her and he made me swear not to watch him before he went to her," Alice shook her head. "Whatever is happening now, Jas, it's not because of you. It's whatever that idiot of a brother of mine said. I never should have promised him not to watch."

"Speaking of which," Jasper said with a touch of amusement. "I thought you promised Bella you wouldn't watch her while we were out hunting."

"I only promised I wouldn't watch her directly," Alice said with a grin. "I never said anything about not watching Carlisle or Emmett."

"Always a loophole," he teased her and laughed when she pecked him on the lips.

"Of course!" Alice said as she jumped from his lap and offered him a hand to help him to his feet. "Now go," she said once he was standing.

"Go?" Jasper repeated with confusion.

"Yes," Alice said and turned Jasper around, smiling when he chuckled at her manhandling of him. "Go home. Go see Bella. You've fed more than enough already and we can always play later."

Shaking his head as he turned around and snatched her up in his arms, Jasper lifted her up for a kiss. He listened to her laugh as he continued to kiss her and growled playfully when she pushed his face away. He set her down before she could bounce out of his arms and gave her a lopsided grin when she pushed him forward again.

"Alright, pushy," he teased her and sighed softly as his jovial mood fell. "Alice…"

"Go," she insisted gently, her expression affectionate. "She needs you and you need her. Go, I'll be home later."

Nodding sagely, Jasper brushed the side of his curled index finger along the curve of her chin and smiled as he looked deep into her eyes. He loved her with every fiber of his being, his beautiful wife tiny and cherished. He'd give her anything she wanted, pull down a star if she asked him for it and smiled as he watched the love she felt fill her eyes.

"I love you too, Jasper Whitlock," Alice whispered and stood on her toes to kiss him. "Now go home. Our sister needs you."

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked sensing her hesitance and listened to her sigh as he felt her reluctance. "Alice…"

Sighing softly and shaking her head, she didn't know how to tell him the one thing she wasn't supposed to know. Bella had sent her so many emails that first month they were away and while they had all been returned undeliverable, she had still seen them through her visions. She doubted Bella was aware that she was able to, thinking her human sister had written them only to get her thoughts out, but she wasn't certain how to tell Jasper this. She felt him gently influence her and squeezed his hand as she nodded.

"She thinks you're mad at her," Alice said softly. "That's why you've been sensing her fear. She's not afraid of you, she's only afraid that you're mad at her."

"For what?" Jasper asked as his voice and expression displayed his confusion in full. "What the hell would I have to be mad at her for?"

Alice sighed once more and Jasper frowned as he felt her sadness. "For bleeding, Jasper. Bella thinks you're mad at her because she got the paper cut, because she wasn't careful enough."

"It was an accident," he said with disbelief.

"An accident that split our family apart," Alice shook her head sadly. "Jasper, when I came back here to get her and all the time on our way to and from Italy, she kept staring at her hand – her finger when she thought we weren't looking. Edward never noticed it, but I did. The expression on her face, I'm certain she was cursing herself. She doesn't see it as you almost attacking her; she sees it as her blood _hurting_ you. She's blaming herself for everything that happened as much as you've been blaming yourself. You two need each other in order to heal from this. Please go to her now, before Edward gets any closer to us. He'll only make things worse because he won't stop to listen."

Jasper pulled her close for a tight hug before releasing her and disappearing through the trees. She watched him until he was too far to be seen before dashing forward and leaping off the cliff into the valley below. She had no intention of talking to Edward until Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had time to give Bella the support and care she needed. Her sister was holding on by barely a thread and with each moment that passed that delicate thread frayed. Whatever Edward had said to Bella wasn't as easily fixed as he thought it was. His words and presence only masked the symptoms – the truth… Whatever her brother had said hadn't just stopped Bella from questioning their family leaving, it had broken her.

**:::::**

Carlisle lifted his arm from where it had been resting on Bella's back and looked at his watch. He had maybe an hour left before he would need to change and head into the hospital and his human daughter was still sleeping soundly on top of him. He didn't perspire or have need for a shower, but knew that the act of doing so would refresh him for the day ahead. Tipping his head up from the pillow to kiss her hair, he slowly began to move and, with Emmett's help, soon had Bella tucked against her brother's side. He touched her hair once and smiled sadly before standing from the bed.

"Have to go already?" Emmett asked and saw Carlisle's mouth tip up in a lopsided grin.

"In a while," he nodded. "I'm going to get the things from my bag and set up an IV for her. The saline will help her recover from the dehydration and she's been sleeping soundly enough that I don't anticipate her waking for a while longer yet."

"How long do I leave it in?" Emmett asked as he turned his attention down on Bella.

"Two hours should do it," Carlisle said as he reappeared with the kit and items needed. "It will be on a relatively slow but steady flow, just don't let her move too much or the cannula will come out. It won't hurt her," he assured Emmett when he saw his son's look of alarm. "I just won't be here to start a new IV for her and you don't have the training to insert it yourself." Bella moaned softly and Carlisle bent down over her to kiss her temple. "Hush, Sweetheart. Just rest now," he soothed as he started the line and applied tape to the back of her hand. "Clamp this," he instructed Emmett and motioned to the plastic clamp on the tubing, "before you remove the IV or any residual fluid will go everywhere."

Standing from the bed and frowning as he looked around, Carlisle sighed and realized that he had nowhere to hang the saline bag. Turning startled eyes on Jasper when his son's arm came into view, he watched as the southern vampire attached a 3M adhesive hook to the wall and took the saline bag from him to hang it on. Grinning at both the surprise and confusion he read from Carlisle, Jasper shrugged and looked at him.

"Alice," he said simply and watched Carlisle chuckle as he nodded.

"I'll be home later this afternoon," Carlisle said and sat back down on the bed as he touched Bella's hair. "Call at once if you have any concerns for her health," he instructed his sons, meeting Emmett's eyes first before Jasper's.

"We'll take care of her, Dad," Emmett said and Jasper grinned at the feelings of affection and pride that his brother's words inspired in Carlisle.

"We'll take care of her," Jasper repeated his brother's promise a few moments later as he felt the worry take hold of Carlisle once more.

"She's been having nightmares," Carlisle cautioned Jasper. "They've been fairly intense and she's been sick after them."

"Sick?" Jasper repeated, his eyes narrowed in question.

"Physically ill, vomiting," Carlisle explained as he stood and moved toward the closet. "Singing helps," he said with a soft smile.

"So does growling," Emmett said and watched his brother turn an intensely curious gaze on him. "After James," he said simply and Jasper gave a short nod of understanding.

"And after she sleeps?" Jasper asked as he studied their emotions, both his brother and father filled deeply with worry and sorrow for Bella.

"Make certain she eats," Carlisle said softly as he moved to leave the room. "She's lost weight, too much weight."

Jasper nodded quietly and turned his attention on Emmett when he felt his brother's protectiveness grow stronger. Looking down for a moment before ghosting to stand by the window, Jasper stood motionless with his hand clasping his wrist in front of him. He was certain that the family was still cautious of him being too close to Bella and responded to what he believed was Emmett warning him away. He didn't meet his brother's eyes as he listened to the sounds of the water running as Carlisle showered and changed quickly.

"Does her scent still bother you?" Emmett asked softly, his brow furrowed as he waited for Jasper to meet his eyes.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "Not as much as it once did."

"Then why are you across the room?"

Looking to his brother, Jasper met Emmett's eyes with a questioning frown. He could feel the anticipation, the impatience in the burly vampire's emotions and knew that Emmett was waiting for something, but he couldn't believe his brother would actually be waiting for him to join them on the bed. He had felt his family's emotions while they had been away from Forks, Esme's disappointment, Carlisle's worry and hesitance, Rosalie's anger and even Emmett's caution. He knew that his family was watching him and waiting for him to mess up, to attack Bella or someone else again, so why would his brother be expecting him to be so close to the girl?

"Jasper?" Emmett called his brother's attention back to him and waited for almost five minutes, before frowning deeply. "Why are you across the room?" he repeated his question slowly, his tone demanding an answer.

"Jasper?" Carlisle stepped back into the room, dried and dressed, having heard the conversation from the shower. "Son?" he placed his hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," Jasper said as he felt their caution and hesitance, his own fear causing him to misread their emotions.

"Jasper, wait," Carlisle frowned as he looked into the southern vampire's stoic expression, able to feel the strands of fear and doubt Jasper wasn't able to suppress. "Son, do you think we blame you?" Carlisle asked as he began to understand Jasper's near-mute level of silence during their time in New York.

Jasper remained silent as he fought to reign in his talent, knowing that he was unintentionally projecting his own emotions. It wasn't the first time he had thought that Carlisle and Esme must regret having taken him into their family. This wasn't the first time he had messed up in such a manner. Closing his eyes as he turned to leave, he was unprepared for the wealth of love and acceptance Carlisle pushed toward him. Opening his eyes and frowning in confusion, Jasper stared at the blond doctor as he tried to understand what he was reading from the man.

"I have never blamed you for what happened, Jasper," Carlisle said. "It was an accident and could have happened to any of us. I have never been upset with you over this."

"Ithaca," he shook his head as he thought back over all the emotions he had read from Carlisle.

"Edward," Carlisle answered with a heavy sigh. "He refused to tell us what he said to Bella. Refused to allow any of us to see her before we left and as soon as he knew we were settled in New York, he fled to hunt Victoria. I have been upset and disappointed in the actions he took in regards to what happened, not you."

"I could have killed her," Jasper said, his voice almost too soft for Carlisle to hear the words.

"Son," Carlisle cupped Jasper's face in his hand to keep him from turning away. "Look at me." Mourning silently for the fear he saw in Jasper's eyes, he held his son's gaze. "What happened was an accident. It could have been Edward of Rosalie or even Esme who reacted to her spilled blood. The fact that it was you does not mean that you are weak or dangerous. You are _my son_, part of _my family_ and I will help you through this as I have before."

"J's'pr."

Both Carlisle and Jasper turned immediately at the sound of the whispered mumbling to see Bella lying in the circle of Emmett's arms, her bleary eyes less than halfway open. Carlisle moved to go to her only to be stopped by the sight of the tears on her face. He frowned as he watched her close her eyes and wondered if she wasn't truly awake, if she was perhaps trapped in the memories of a nightmare instead. He heard Jasper's intake of breath and looked back at his son, watching as the southern vampire grimaced and rubbed his chest as though he were in pain.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered, her voice betraying her emotions as she looked back up at Jasper.

"Aw, darlin'," Jasper stepped around Carlisle and moved toward the bed. "You've got nothing to be sorry for," he told her as sat on the far corner of the bed.

"I-I hurt you," Bella stumbled over the words, her mind heavy with a confusing mixture of doubt and exhaustion.

"What makes you say that?" Jasper asked as he watched her blink slowly until her eyes remained closed.

"Edward told me how it burns," she said slowly, her voice losing volume with each word as she gave into the sleep pulling at her.

"Burns?" Jasper repeated with a shake of his head and looked at Emmett when he found that Carlisle had left.

"I don't know," Emmett sighed. "She's so tired. Half the time when she talks what she says doesn't make sense."

"What happened?" Jasper asked as he tried to understand. "The night of the vote, I didn't sense any of this on her. How did she get this bad?"

Emmett frowned as he smoothed his hand over Bella's hair. "Carlisle said she's been like this for a while. She can't keep food down, she can't sleep…" He turned his eyes up to his brother. "How does she feel to you?"

Jasper stared at Bella, rubbing his chest absently as he focused on all that he was reading from her. How did she feel? She felt…broken. Her heart was full of despair and desperation. The sense of worthlessness that he had felt from her when they had run from James was almost nothing compared to what darkened her heart now. Now she felt…

"Hollow," Jasper whispered, his voice hoarse. "It's the best way to describe it all. She feels hollow."

"Hollow?" Emmett repeated and looked down on Bella when she gave a half sob in her sleep. "Shh," he whispered to her as he tightened his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he dared. "What do you mean 'hollow'?" he asked looking back up at Jasper.

"It's the only way I know how to describe it," Jasper said as he rubbed his chest. "Just…hollow…like she's given up."

"What do we do?" Emmett asked.

"I have an idea," Jasper sighed heavily. "But it probably won't be pretty."

Frowning with confusion at his brother, Emmett shook his head as he silently asked for an explanation. Pressing his lips together into a thin line, Jasper released a slow breath through his nose and reluctantly moved closer on the bed. He didn't like this idea, but he feared it may be the only way to get the truth. Taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes as he accepted the burn in his throat that her scent inspired, he released the breath and took in another. If he was going to help her he would have to learn to control his thirst around her.

Adjusting to the burn and holding himself immobile until he felt completely calm and in control, he moved closer. Leaning down close to her he began to speak softly, sensing Emmett's shock and surprise when he did a flawless imitation of Edward's voice. Leaning close enough to kiss her cheek, Jasper spoke to her softly and used his talent to make her more willing to follow his every command.

"Bella, listen to me," he said softly. "I'm standing with you here in the forest. No, shh," Jasper whispered to her and touched her face as he sent soothing waves of comfort to her. "What I said to you the day we left, the day he…the day I left you. I need you to repeat to me what I said."

"Jasper," Emmett whispered low, in his voice a warning. "This doesn't feel…right."

"I know," he answered, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "But how else are we going to get the answers we need? Edward hasn't been willing to talk and Bella…"

"Bella doesn't talk about the bad," Emmett said with a deep frown.

"Not good," Bella mumbled slowly, brokenly as the words were stuttered and slurred together at the same time. "Not good…'nough…never exist…"

"What?" Emmett shook his head and looked at Jasper. "Did that make sense to you?"

"No," Jasper frowned, "but it gave me a start."

"A start?" Emmett repeated, his expression making it clear that he was wondering over his brother's sanity.

"Not good enough and never exist," Jasper repeated Bella's mumbled words. "Two starting points and if used properly it should get one of them to tell us the whole story."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Emmett asked warily.

"With my help apparently," Esme said from the open doorway, her face a mask of concern and affection. "Alice," she said with a smile at their questioning glances.


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't want you with me," Edward spoke low, every word uttered in harsh tone as though he were trying to make a child understand.

"You don't…want…me?" Bella repeated, stumbling over the words as her mind slowed to a crawl.

"No," he said and she felt the world shift beneath her, feeling weightless and disconnected.

"That…that changes things," she looked down, unable to meet his eyes, unable to process his words.

"Don't you want me anymore?"

Bella's head snapped up at the sound of her own voice only it was years younger. Her breath held and caught in her throat as she looked at her six year old self and felt like a ghost as the memory played in front of her. She felt sick to her stomach as she watched her younger self cradling the large phone in her hands, the spiral cord wrapped around her tiny wrist. She knew these words, remembered this moment and fell to her knees as she stared on, helpless to do anything but watch. It was only a week after she and Renee had moved to Phoenix and she shook her head as she remembered what Charlie had said.

"Not…good enough."

She fell forward, sobbing against the pain of the memory and felt her body trembling beyond her control. She was old enough now to know that the breaks between words and static on the line had meant that there was a bad connection and that he had most likely said words in between, but all she had been able to hear were those three. _Not good enough_. She wasn't good enough. She wasn't good enough for her own father… She hadn't been good enough for any of Renee's suitors…and it hurt more than ever to know that she hadn't been good enough for Edward.

She felt her stomach twisting, her head pounding furiously as tearing sobs broke from her. The pain was back, the hole in her chest larger than ever and she found herself standing on the cliff in La Push. It hadn't been her intention then to kill herself, but now the water seemed to beckon her forth. It wasn't the possibility of hearing Edward's voice that bid her to come closer, instead it was the promise of oblivion. The crashing waves would swallow her whole; the water would take away her pain. Closing her eyes, she stepped forward and was beginning to fall when she was suddenly seized from behind by strong cool arms.

"Stop fighting! You're safe! Sweetheart, you're safe," she was pulled back against Carlisle's chest and turned so that her face was pressed against his chest. "Oh, baby girl, you're safe. I've got you. I'm here…I'm here."

Her eyes blinked open slowly, the movement difficult as her eyelids felt lead-weighted and she sniffled as she looked up at him through blurred vision. He was rocking her gently, her body cradled in his lap and she frowned in confusion as he brought a thick overstuffed blanket beneath her chin. He tipped his head down and pressed his cool lips against her forehead before he began to sing softly to her and she thought she smiled when she recognized the song to be from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. He cradled her closer as her eyes grew heavier and she nuzzled her face tiredly against his shoulder as she gave into the darkness pulling at her brain.

Carlisle continued to sing until her heartbeat and breathing had fallen into a deep and steady rhythm. He petted her hair, smoothed her drying tears from her cheeks and held her closer as he wrapped the blankets tighter around her shoulders. Smiling sadly and tipping his head in thanks to Esme, he accepted the damp cloth from her hand and gently washed Bella's face as she slept in his arms. Stretching out his legs, he turned and laid back slowly on the pillows, moving her to lie on his chest as he kept her covered by the blankets, rubbing her back as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Were you able to get her to eat anything?" Carlisle asked of his wife and two sons as they stood in the room, gathered around the bed.

"No," Emmett frowned deeply. "The few times she woke up with us she was sick. She didn't throw up," he said at Carlisle's look of concern, "but she seemed like she was in pain."

"I gave her some tea earlier," Esme said softly as she moved to sit next to her husband's hip and touched Bella's hair. "She'd barely swallowed it before it came back up. How did we not see this before? How did she get this bad?"

"I don't know," Carlisle sighed heavily with worry and shushed Bella gently when she whimpered in her sleep. "Hush sweetheart, I'm here."

"Daddy?" she mumbled, her voice sounding years younger and only loud enough for one of their kind to hear it.

"No, sweetheart," Carlisle soothed and petted her hair. "It's Carlisle."

"Carlisle?" she repeated in the same soft voice, mumbling in her sleep.

"That's right, baby girl," he assured her gently and hugged her close. "I've got you."

"Love you," she mumbled softly and he felt his silent heart constrict.

"I love you, too, Bella," he whispered to her and held her tight. "I love you too."

"She so thin," Esme said, her brows furrowed in concern as she looked at the girl's hand and thought over how the borrowed clothing had hung off her. "I don't understand. How did we not see it after she returned from Italy? Why didn't – "

"Esme." Carlisle lifted one hand and touched her cheek gently. "She's learned how to hide her pain. She didn't want anyone to know," he said, doing what he could to offer his wife comfort. "We just have to focus on helping her heal… What?" he asked catching sight of Jasper's twitch of amusement.

Jasper simply gave a soft chuckle and shook his head as he remained silent. It was Carlisle's emotions that were amusing him. As concerned for Bella as the man was, he was also loving the moments he got to spend holding her while she slept. Jasper could feel the warm pulse of Carlisle's deep fatherly love and protection as well as the soothing peacefulness the man felt. His gaze shifted, his eyes watching as Bella moved slightly and he frowned as the feeling of despair resurfaced. Her dreams, her nightmares held only four emotions: deep sorrow, aching despair, maddening fear and a sense of abandonment so profound he thought she would die from it.

Each time the emotions cycled he could feel her begin to give up a little bit more as though she had stopped fighting for the outcome to change. His brows furrowed as he listened to Carlisle speak softly to Bella; his talent still focused on the girl, and felt an almost infinitesimal spark of light. Carlisle's voice was reaching her, not all the time, but it was reaching her more than anyone else's had. He would feel the fear overcome her, listen to her whimper in her sleep and try to reach out to her with his talent only to watch in curious disbelief as Carlisle's voice provided her the comfort his talent could not. She was only responding to Carlisle and the southern vampire didn't understand why.

He watched Bella shift slightly, the fingers of her hand curling around the scarf Carlisle still wore and Jasper tipped his head as he tried to understand. He continued to observe them, moving just enough to keep Bella's hand in sight when he sensed Carlisle's gentle affection and saw her tuck the soft cloth of the scarf beneath her chin as she slept. He frowned as he thought back to all the times he had seen her interact with Charlie. The emotions she had around her own father were not what he was accustomed to feeling between a child and parent. Instead, he realized, she had always held the emotions of the caregiver, the protector.

His gaze lost focus as he thought over the things Edward or Alice would let slip when they talked with or around him. Bella took care of Charlie. She cooked the meals for him, did the laundry and cleaned the house. The man had never demanded it of her, at least not from what Edward had said, but she did those things anyway as though it was her job to. He thought back to Phoenix, the woman – Bella's mother – that he had only met once for a very brief encounter. Bella had held the same emotions around her as well and in that moment Jasper realized the one piece he'd been missing the whole time. Bella wasn't the child in those relationships…she was the parent.

Perhaps not the 'parent' he allowed, but definitely the caregiver. She was the one who watched over them, protected them and was responsible for them. Bella had been the one to support her mother all while lying injured in a hospital bed. She was the one who had comforted Charlie over the loss of Harry Clearwater even when her own grief was so powerful she could barely breathe. His brows furrowed so deeply that they almost touched. He had seen her almost a week ago, keeping out of sight as he read her emotions and watched her interact with her father. She had been so full of fear and despair, but he had watched her comfort her father and put on a smile for his benefit.

His lips parted slightly as he felt his own sadness take hold at all he had learned in the past few minutes from his collected memories. Bella supported her parents, she was there for everyone else, but he saw in that moment that it was only Carlisle who had been there for her. Carlisle treated her as one of his children, he had always been concerned for her, comforted her. Carlisle was the loving, caring father that she had always needed, but never had. She didn't have to be the strong one for him. She responded to Carlisle because he took care of her, he protected her and he supported her.

"Jasper."

The southern vampire looked up at the sound of Carlisle's voice, meeting his father's butterscotch eyes and waiting for him to continue. He projected to Jasper his concern for Esme, watching as his son glanced at his wife before offering a short nod.

"Would you and Esme go to the store a pick up a few things for Bella, please," Carlisle requested and smiled gently at the look of concern on his wife's face. "Some applesauce or pudding, something that will be easy on her stomach."

Esme nodded quietly as she remained seated next to him on the bed. Bending down over them, she pressed a kiss to Bella's cheek before standing. Reaching out and taking her hand gently in his, Carlisle felt her squeeze his fingers tightly and knew that she was silently crying, though she had no tears to shed. Sighing softly as her fingers slid from his hand, Carlisle wrapped his arm around Bella as he watched his wife leave the room, Jasper following behind her. He turned his attention on Emmett, watching the way the muscle in his son's jaw ticked.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Carlisle asked after he heard the car pull out of the drive.

"What?" Emmett asked as he met his father's eyes in confusion.

"You're angry about something; I can see it in your face. What happened while I was at work?" Carlisle asked as Emmett frowned and stepped closer to the bed.

Sitting down on the side of the bed, Emmett reached out silently, his hand resting on Bella's back as he looked down at the girl he thought of as his sister. She was part of his family, his to protect and seeing her like this, watching her suffer through one nightmare after another left him feeling as though he had failed her. He spoke softly, his voice unknowingly pained as he told Carlisle of her troubled sleep and what Jasper had said. He continued on, telling him what Jasper had done and the words Bella had spoken in her sleep.

"It wasn't always Edward she called out for though," Emmett said, his brow furrowing at the sound of Bella's soft whimper. "Sometimes…sometimes she called out for Charlie."

"Charlie?" Carlisle questioned, before turning his attention on the girl sleeping in his arms. "Shh, I've got you, Bella. I'm here." He petted her hair slowly. "I didn't think Charlie had left her while we were gone."

"I don't think he did," Emmett said as he gently rubbed Bella's back. "Her voice sounded…younger."

Bella whimpered again, the sound fearful and Carlisle tightened his arms around her gently when the scent of salt permeated the air around them. She was crying in her sleep again and Carlisle mourned the pain she was in. Looking up at Emmett, he found the troubled look on his son's face to have deepened and pressed his lips together in a line. It wasn't hard to guess what Emmett was thinking. Even with Alice and Esme, Emmett felt more than simply physically protective of them. He couldn't count the number of times he had seen his son sitting with both of the women over the years, comforting them with his presence or a hug.

"Her condition isn't your fault, Emmett," Carlisle said softly. "You can't protect against dreams."

"I don't want to go," Bella mumbled in her sleep, her voice whisper soft as the words slurred together.

"Shh, you're safe here, little one," Carlisle soothed her gently. "I've got you."

"C'r'isle," she mumbled his name and the blond vampire smiled softly.

"That's right, sweetheart," he soothed her and lifted his head from the pillow to kiss her hair. "I've got you, I'm right here with you."

"I don't want to go. Don't make me go," she mumbled and Emmett growled softly as his hand remained on her back.

"See what I mean?" Emmett asked softly and watched Carlisle's had slip up to cup Bella's face in his palm as he held her. "Her voice sounds younger."

Bella coughed softly and Carlisle sat up slowly, turning her gently to hold her in the cradle of his arm as he sat with his legs crossed beneath her. Asking his son quietly for a glass of water, he held Bella close and smoothed his fingers against her cheek as he waited for his son to return. Taking the small glass with a nod of thanks, he brought it to Bella's lips and spoke to her softly as he encouraged her to drink. Kissing her hair as he tipped the glass, he watched her drink a few sips and smiled before handing the cup back to Emmett. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Carlisle shushed her gently when she again begged not to be made to leave.

"Where would you go, Sweetheart?" Carlisle asked as he brought the blankets closer and wrapped them around her.

"Phoenix," she mumbled softly as she turned and pressed her hand against Carlisle's chest in her sleep, her face nuzzling into his sweater.

"Why would you go to Phoenix?" he asked her gently as he petted her hair and held her close.

She coughed softly again and Emmett handed the glass back to Carlisle when he reached for it. Tipping her up gently, Carlisle brought the glass to her lips and watched her drink the tepid liquid slowly. Her hand came up to rest on Carlisle's and the vampire smiled sadly as he watched her move in her sleep. He took the glass away once she had swallowed a bit more and handed it back to Emmett. Kissing her forehead gently, he smoothed away a stray bit of water from the corner of her mouth with the pad of his thumb and brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek.

"Bella, sweetheart," Carlisle spoke to her softly. "Why would you go to Phoenix?" he asked her again, both men watching as her expression fell into one of despair.

"Daddy doesn't want me anymore," she said slowly, her voice sounding years younger and words slurring together.

"I'm sure that's not true, sweetheart," Carlisle soothed her gently as Emmett reached out and folded his long fingers around her hand.

"Not good…'nough," she mumbled around a yawn.

Carlisle's brow furrowed, his eyes narrowing in confusion and suspicion as he tried to understand her mumbled words. Listening to her speak as she slept meant that the truths she revealed about her pain were far more honest than they would be while she was awake, but it also meant that they were a bit less coherent. Touching her hair before brushing her cheek, he kissed her forehead and began to speak to her again.

"What happened, little one?" Carlisle asked softly, keeping his voice soothing and hypnotic in order to keep her asleep. "The day Edward came to see you, the day we left. What happened?"

"Not…good 'nough…" she mumbled and pressed her face into Carlisle's shoulder. "Had to…go…not good…'nough." She was silent for a moment, her eyes fluttering without opening before her voice sounded again. "Sorry…s'sorry…hurt Jasper…"

"She said that before," Jasper said as he appeared in the open doorway, a frown marring his brow. "That she hurt me," he shook his head as he stepped into the room. "Who the hell put that idea into her head?"

"I don't know," Carlisle sighed softly. "Where's Esme?"

"Downstairs in the kitchen," Jasper said, his lips twitching as he gave a snort of amusement, "with about twenty pounds of apples. She said she couldn't stand the thought of giving Bella something that came out of a can or bottle. At least not when she's in this condition. I think she bought out half the produce section," he said as his amusement slowly died away, concern taking its place.

Emmett looked up from Bella, his eyes turning on Jasper when his brother fell quiet and he studied the expression on the southern vampire's face. It was true that he and Rosalie had been away for four of the six months his family had been in New York, but when they had returned, it was easy to see Jasper's silence. He had thought his brother was just simply responding to the displeasure that everyone else felt regarding Edward, but to realize now that Jasper had thought their emotions were directed at him… Turning his attention back to Bella, Emmett bent low and kissed her cheek. Jasper needed Carlisle almost as much as Bella did, though he knew his brother would never admit it.

"I'll go see if she needs help," Emmett said as he stood from his seat on the bed.

Emmett passed by Jasper slowly letting his emotions speak for him as he thought of his need for Jasper to go to Bella. How many times had she apologized in her sleep? How many times had she said she was sorry for something that was no more her fault than the sun rising in the sky? Sighing as he moved down the hall, Emmett stopped at the landing to the stairs and looked back in time to see Jasper moving hesitantly closer to the bed. He pressed his lips together in a sad smile and hoped that both his brother and sister would heal from this ordeal. It wasn't only Bella that Edward had harmed with his instant demands that they leave Forks behind.

Turning back to the stairs, Emmett moved down them silently as he made his way into the kitchen and found Esme hard at work peeling apples and setting them aside into a large bowl. He frowned when he saw her hand tremble and moved up behind her as he caught sight of her expression. Sighing softly, he watched as the sound caught her attention and shook his head when she tried to offer him a comforting smile to chase away his worry. Esme gave a trembling laugh as her son pulled her into his arms and held her close.

"She'll be ok, mom," Emmett soothed and felt her arms go around his back. "We'll take care of her."

Esme closed her eyes as she took the comfort Emmett so freely offered her and when she opened her mouth to speak, a sob broke from her throat instead. His arms tightened around her and the more she tried to speak the more she cried instead. Emmett growled softly as he stroked Esme's hair feeling at once both enraged and incredibly protective. The only thing he hated more than seeing one of his sisters upset was seeing Esme upset. She was their mother, his mother and he would fight the devil himself to keep her safe and happy.

"How could she be hurting this much?" Esme asked, her voice a hoarse whisper that was choked by emotion. "What did he say to her?"

"I don't know," Emmett said softly as he held her close. "We'll fix this, we will," he promised her and a growl rumbled from him darkly. "And then I'll beat his ass."

"Emmett," Esme chided with a soft laugh and looked up at her son. "He's your brother."

"And Bella's my little sister. It's my job to protect her, even from him. Plus he upset you," he said with a deep frown.

Esme smiled sadly, squeezing her arms around him before stepping away from the embrace. She didn't disagree with him. No matter how much she loved Edward, no matter that he was her first son and had seen her through the hardest times of her newborn year and the memories of her human husband's abuse, she couldn't look at Bella without wanting some kind of retribution for her condition. She knew it was wrong, knew that looking for any kind of vengeance in this situation would help no one, but still she felt that he needed to know just how much damage he had caused.

"Can I help?" Emmett asked and Esme laughed as she nodded.

"Pull out the large boiler I usually use for canning," she instructed. "Emmett," she said after a moment. "Has Bella ever talked to you about Renee?"

Emmett frowned at the question and shook his head. "No, why?"

Esme sighed softly. "I just have questions about…"

"About their relationship," he finished for her and saw her surprised look. "So do I. She's always had this feel about her," Emmett frowned as he tried to explain his thoughts, "like she's standing alone in the world. It's like she's always been unsupported, until she found Edward and us. The way she is with Carlisle, I've never seen her like that with Charlie. Around Carlisle she's unguarded, relaxed like she trusts him to take care of anything that might happen. But when I've seen her with Charlie…I don't know, she's just…different."

"I know what you mean," Esme said softly, her brow furrowed. "I remember how she was in Phoenix with Renee. She wouldn't let her mother see the pain she was in, always comforted her and told her that she was fine…" Esme looked up from the apple she was peeling. "It was as though Bella was the one taking care of her, not the other way around."

**:::::**

Bella felt her breath catch in her throat, her heart skipping one beat and then another as her eyes widened and she shook her head. She was back in the forest again, Edward standing in front of her and she felt her heart breaking apart as she watched his lips move. She couldn't be back here, she couldn't hear his goodbye again, she wouldn't survive it. She closed her eyes, wishing against everything that this would end. Whether the earth swallowed her whole or she leapt off the cliff into the crashing waves of the freezing water, all she wanted was an end to the heartbreak, an end to the pain she couldn't escape.

She gasped at the feeling of arms wrapping around her and closed her eyes as she was turned and held against a strong chest. She didn't understand, no one had ever been here with her before. She couldn't open her eyes, was too afraid that if she did whoever was holding her would be gone and she would be alone again. A hand stroked down over her hair in a slow repeating motion as a kiss was pressed to her head.

"It's alright, sweetheart, I'm here with you. You're not alone."

She gasped at the sound of Carlisle's voice and sobbed as her arms went around his back. She could feel him, he was truly here with her and she didn't understand how this could be possible. Her hands fisted the sweater beneath her fingers and she cried brokenly as he held her, comforting her as no one else had ever been able to. Charlie couldn't, even through all the time spent alone, her father didn't understand how to offer comfort. He had left her to herself not knowing what to do or say and she had felt more alone than ever because of it.

She felt his hand move over her back as he rubbed slow circles and held her close. Carlisle understood that it wasn't about saying the right words; sometimes you just needed to be held. Carlisle cared for her, he took care of her and he gave her all of the emotional support that Renee and Charlie were incapable of. With Carlisle she didn't feel like she had to be in control or be the one taking care of everything. With Carlisle…Bella sobbed brokenly in his arms, with Carlisle she felt taken care of. He treated her like she was his daughter and took care of her. She'd never felt that with Charlie or Renee, she had never felt like the child, never known what it meant to be the one to be protected. Maybe it was unfair, but she felt loved by Carlisle and Esme in a way that she never had with her own parents.

"I want you to do something for me," Carlisle said softly as he held her.

"Wh-what?" she asked and grasped desperately onto his clothes when he began to pull away.

"No, shh," Carlisle soothed her and she felt him cup her face in his hands as he pressed a kiss to her brow. "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart." He turned her around slowly and pulled her back against his chest, his arms wrapping around her in a hug from behind. "I want you to look at Edward. Listen to his words and repeat them to me," he said as he rubbed her arms when she shook her head. "Do this for me, Bella," he requested again.

She didn't want to agree, didn't want to hear Edward speak them again, but she couldn't refuse Carlisle's request. She didn't know if he would disappear if she did and she didn't feel strong enough to take that risk. She felt broken down, her eyes filling with tears that burned like acid when Edward materialized in front of her. She felt cold again, shivering almost violently and cried out in fear when Carlisle's arms disappeared from around her. They wrapped around her seconds later and she felt strangely warmer for it, but didn't understand why. She shook her head, sobbing as Edward began to speak and her voice was a strangled whisper as she repeated his words.

"Bella, we're leaving," she repeated Edward's words before speaking those she had answered him with. "When you say 'we'…"

Bella choked on the words, shaking her head as she stared at the Edward in front of her, feeling strangely disconnected from him as though he wasn't truly there with them. She closed her eyes when Carlisle rubbed her arm, took the comfort he offered her and began to speak again.

"I mean my family and myself," she repeated his words in the same hard tone he had used and fell silent as she whispered that she would go with them. "You can't, Bella," she spoke his words in time with him, her lips mirroring his. "Where we're going, it's not the right place for you." Her eyes closed again as more tears leaked from between her lashes painfully. "I'm no good for you, Bella…My world is not for you," her voice cracked as she knew that she would only hurt worse the longer he spoke.

"I can't," she cried and felt her legs give way beneath her as she wished for the pain to stop.

"You can, sweetheart," Carlisle encouraged and she felt him kiss her hair. "I'm right here with you. I won't leave you. Keep going, baby girl. Tell me what he said next."

"Is this about what happened with Jasper?" Bella asked and she felt a hand wrap around hers even though she couldn't see it. "Please don't make me say this," she begged Carlisle in a whisper.

"I need you to, little one," he said, his voice mourning her pain.

Her voice choked as she looked up at Edward and felt the cold damnation. She felt the hand in hers even as she remained blind to it and squeezed her fingers around it tightly. Someone else's hand brushed against her cheek and she felt as though she were being granted the strength she needed to continue on.

"You're not good for me, Bella," she repeated his words before whispering her answer. "Not good enough…" She felt her tears fall faster as she repeated his last words. "What happened with Jasper is no more than what was expected to happen. I don't want you with me. You don't know how much it burns to be near you, to smell your blood beneath your skin. When you cut yourself, when your blood spilled, it was like pouring acid down his throat."

She couldn't speak the rest; she couldn't say anything more and felt herself crumbling apart. Even with Carlisle's arms around her she couldn't remain standing and felt him lift her into his arms as he was suddenly sitting on a fallen log. He was holding her in his lap, her head tucked beneath his chin as he rocked her and whispered to her soothing comforts. The hand that had been wrapped around her was suddenly gone and she opened her mouth to call for whoever it was to come back only to feel Carlisle lift her and hand her to someone else.

"Bella…"

She choked on a sob as Jasper's voice sounded next to her ear and cried her broken apologies to him. She had never meant to hurt him, never wanted to hurt him and felt his arms tighten around her as he hushed her gently. Jasper petted her hair, calming her with his voice and talent as he told her that she hadn't hurt him, assured her that she wasn't to blame and rocked her slowly. Her head rested against his shoulder as she curled tiredly against his chest and felt him move with her. Blinking slowly and mumbling softly her confusion even as no words were truly spoken, she frowned as blankets were pulled up around her shoulders and she felt them to be lying in a bed together.

"Go to sleep, darlin'," Jasper soothed her gently. "I'm here and so is Carlisle. You're safe, Bella. We've got you. Go to sleep now," he encouraged and her eyes closed once more as she snuggled against him.

Jasper laid his hand on her cheek, cupping her face in his palm as he smoothed her tears away with the pad of his thumb. Turning his head and kissing her forehead, he looked up and met Carlisle's furious gaze. He knew that Carlisle was not a violent person, but in that moment the emotions he could feel rolling off the man made him question that. Edward hadn't just told her they were leaving, he had played on her fears and made her unable to question the possibility that they would ever come back. He had made her believe that they were leaving because of her and that he had never wanted her in the first place.

"She's his mate," Carlisle said after a long moment, his voice edged with hardness. "He's supposed to protect her."

"He probably thought he was," Jasper said and inwardly winced at the fire in Carlisle's eyes. "I'm not defending him..."

"Good," Emmett growled from the doorway, the emotions Jasper read from him dangerous. "It's been awhile since I had reason to beat his ass."

"Emmett," Carlisle cautioned only to fall silent as he closed his eyes. "Don't hurt him too badly."

"Damn," Emmett blinked in surprise. "You are mad. Hell if I'm gonna pass up on you approving me beating the shit out of him."

Carlisle turned around to caution Emmett, perhaps even to take back the words he'd said only to find his son already gone. He was appalled by what had been revealed, thankful that between himself and Jasper they had been able to get Bella to talk to them in her sleep. Edward had said only that he had made it clear to Bella that they wouldn't be returning, promising that she would be fine without them. Carlisle knew that Edward had never intended to return to Bella, but had she not gone to him in Italy, had she not reached him in time to stop him from ending his own life, Carlisle was certain he would've lost two children that day. He doubted very much that Bella would've been able to survive his death, be it by the Volturi's hands or her own.

He didn't think as he laid down on the bed, kissing Bella's temple as he kept his sleeping daughter sandwiched between himself and Jasper. She whimpered a few times, her hand clutching Jasper's shirt and Carlisle smiled softly as he listened to his son begin to sing to Bella. His rich warm tenor was colored by his Texan accent and Carlisle wasn't sure if it was his son's song or talent that was soothing his anger, but whichever it was he was grateful for it. Jasper's voice faded out on the ending notes of _The Battle Hymn of the Republic_ and Carlisle smiled as he knew it was the one song that brought his son both comfort and reminded him of all he had to be grateful for.

"I know you don't want Edward hurt," Jasper said drawing Carlisle's attention. "Emmett won't beat him nearly as bad you think he will. I've watched them fight before."

"When?" Carlisle asked surprised as he propped himself up on his elbow to watch Bella sleep.

"Toronto," Jasper said softly. "When I lost control with the girl who had that little flower cart. Edward was pissed over that or something else, I'm not sure what exactly but he kept directing all his anger at me. Emmett found out from Alice and decided to fix Edward's attitude."

"Toronto?" Carlisle asked as he thought back nearly two decades earlier. "That was the first time you tried to leave us." He met Jasper's eyes. "I've always understood that switching to this diet of animal blood would not be an easy transition. I hope you know that I've never blamed you for your slips."

Jasper pressed his lips together as he frowned. "I think in some ways," he began slowly, "it might have been easier had you been mad or yelled, but you never did. You've always been so supportive of us."

"You're my son," Carlisle said his brow furrowed in confusion. "Just because it was not my venom that brought you into this life does not mean that you are any less my son than Edward or Emmett are. You are part of this family and you always will be, Jasper."

He sighed softly as he smiled sadly. "Each time I've slipped I…" his throat tightened as he felt his emotions constrict his voice. "I know what I've done in my life; I know what I am and what I can become."

"Jasper?" Carlisle sat up as he looked at his son. "What do you mean 'you know what you are'? What is it that you think you are?"

Carlisle watched as Jasper's eyes closed, his brow furrowed as the expression on his face became full of anguish and self recrimination. He turned his head slightly as though he were denying the thoughts written on his son's face.

"I'm a monster," Jasper whispered and Carlisle felt his eyes widen. "There are times that…" his voice faded as his breath trembled from him and extracted himself gently from the sleeping girl between them. "There are times that I think Alice would have been better off if she had never found me. She would have still found her way to all of you, but…"

"Jasper," Carlisle reached out stilling his son's movement when Jasper looked to be readying himself to leave. "Have you always felt like this?"

Jasper's eyes closed in grief as he wished for Carlisle's anger instead of his compassion and love. It would be so much easier to deal with the hate; he had always hated himself, why shouldn't Carlisle hate him? How many times had the family been forced to move because he couldn't control himself? How many times had he thought he should've been turned away rather than welcomed into Carlisle's family? He was a monster. He had always been a monster and that's all he would ever be. Standing from the bed, he was surprised to find himself almost instantly wrapped in a woman's arms.

"Esme?" Jasper opened his eyes, his topaz depths full of pain and self-hatred.

Esme didn't say anything as she held Jasper as tightly as she could. How did she not know that her son was hurting like this? She felt him sigh as he wrapped her in his arms and felt her love wrap around him. Tremors rocked through him as he felt an answering warmth from Carlisle and held onto Esme tighter as the love and acceptance they were projecting to him felt to be breaking him. He bowed his head over Esme, his face burying in the curve of her shoulder as she held him close and rubbed his back.

"You are our son, Jasper Whitlock," Carlisle said as he watched his wife hold their son as he cried in her arms. "You are not a monster. That other life was terrible, yes, but it does not make you a monster. You survived it to get here, to where you were meant to be."

"We will never turn you away," Esme promised him as she framed his face in her hands to look into his eyes. "Do you hear me?" she asked fiercely. "You are _my_ son!"

"I hear you…Mom," Jasper said hesitantly and felt her disbelief seconds before love exploded from her in waves and wrapped around him along with joy and maternal affection.

"Damn right I'm your mother," Esme said as she hugged him tightly again and Jasper laughed even as darkness still held the edges of his heart. "I want you to come to me," Esme said as she pushed him gently back until he sat on the edge of the bed. "Anytime you feel like this, I want you to come to me because I will never stop telling you that I love you." She wrapped him in her arms again and petted his hair. "You are not a monster, Jasper Whitlock and you never could be. You are not a monster," she whispered fiercely as she held him tightly and laid her cheek on his hair.

Carlisle looked back to the bed when he caught the movement from the corner of his eye and watched Bella sit up slowly. He wasn't certain how long she had been awake for, but saw the expression on her face as she watched Jasper and knew that she had heard enough to understand his son's upset. Her brown eyes were wide, mourning the pain Jasper was in and when she reached out to touch him, Carlisle watched his son turn his head toward her and hold out one arm. Bella bit her lip as she edged closer and was welcomed against his side as he held her in his arm.

"How are you doin', darlin'?" Jasper asked as he held Bella against his side and tipped his head to rest his cheek on her hair. "Feel up to eating something?" Bella grimaced and rubbed a hand against her stomach, the move unconscious and Jasper rubbed her shoulder. "Would you eat something for me? Just a little something?" he asked her as Carlisle sat on the other side of her and Esme sat beside Jasper.

"Like what?" Bella asked as Carlisle petted her hair slowly.

"I have some applesauce," Esme offered softly. "Just finished making it a little bit ago actually."

"Finished making it?" Bella asked with confusion.

"It's homemade, Bella," Esme said with amusement, "it's still warm even."

"I've never had fresh applesauce before," Bella admitted with wonder. "You made it? For…me?"

"Who else would I make it for?" Esme asked and frowned at the tears the girl was unable to control. "Bella, sweetheart what's wrong?"

Bella shook her head as she brought her hands up to her face, but no matter how much she wiped away the tears they wouldn't stop. She was trembling, emotions choking her voice until it was gone completely and she was left mute. She learned to cook just after they moved to Phoenix, had always made the meals because Renee couldn't. Phil couldn't cook either, but had never seemed to question that it was Bella who made all the meals. Charlie, Bella sobbed and felt herself drawn against Carlisle's chest as he wrapped his arms around her, Charlie couldn't cook his way out of a takeout bag. She had seen his attempts and was convinced that Renee was a better cook than he was. But Esme…Esme had made her fresh homemade applesauce.

"Carlisle?" Esme looked at her husband as she watched him lift Bella to sit in his lap.

Carlisle remained silent as he shook his head in confusion. He didn't know why the mentioning of applesauce made Bella cry anymore than his wife did. Kissing Bella's hair as he held her, he rocked her slowly and shushed her gently as he petted her hair in long slow strokes. He tucked her head underneath his chin as he hugged her close and let her cry. His eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to him and felt Jasper's attention focus on him as his son responded to the suspicion he was feeling.

"Bella," Carlisle began slowly. "Who cooks?"

"What?" she asked in a choked voice as she tried her best to control the tears that wouldn't be stopped.

"Who cooks? When you were growing up, did Renee cook?" he asked and felt the short laugh that sounded from her.

"She used to burn canned soup," Bella said as she sniffled and rested exhausted against Carlisle's chest.

"When did you first learn to cook? When did you first start cooking the meals in your house?" Carlisle pressed on gently.

"Maybe six months after we moved to Phoenix," she answered as she took comfort in Carlisle's embrace.

"How old were you?" Carlisle asked her as he petted her hair.

"Six," she sniffled and Carlisle looked up at Esme.

"Did Renee ever learn to cook? Did she ever take over that responsibility?" he asked her, his voice low and soothing as he felt her lashes brushing against the side of his neck when she blinked tiredly.

"No," Bella said tiredly. "She tried to make me a cake once," she said and laughed softly. "She put too much batter in the pan and didn't put a tray on the shelf below to catch any overflow. She nearly burned down the house. She probably would have if I hadn't caught it in time and turned off the oven."

"How old were you then?" Carlisle asked her softly.

"It was my seventh birthday." She sniffled and laughed a bit. "I spent three weeks cleaning that mess up. She forgot all about it the next day and tried to make a pizza."

"So you took care of her," Carlisle said and pressed his lips together to keep from speaking of his displeasure.

"Somebody had to," Bella said, her words beginning to slur together and Carlisle knew that she was edging closer to sleep.

"Stay awake for me, Bella," Carlisle said and rubbed her arm. "You need to eat something."

"Come on," Esme said as she moved to stand in front of her husband. "How about you try some of that applesauce, hmm?" she asked as she helped Bella up from her husband's lap and held the groggy girl to her side as she led her from the room.

Carlisle released a deep sigh as he stood from the bed. How many other things did she have to do because her mother was incapable of performing the simple tasks? Shaking his head as he looked toward the door, he wondered if Bella had ever actually felt cared for or if she was always the one doing the care giving. Part of him wanted to be angry at Renee for the neglect and irresponsibility that had forced a six year old child into taking on the role of the adult, but he knew that anger wouldn't solve anything. All he could do now was get Bella to talk more and find out how deep the damage went.

"Esme?" he looked at his wife in confusion as she stood in the doorway with Bella leaning heavily against her side. "Did she eat anything?"

"Not much," Esme said with worry. "She's so exhausted it was hard getting her to stay awake."

"How about a story?" Carlisle asked as he walked to them and lifted Bella into his arms, smiling when she blushed softly.

"A story?" Bella asked as she found it hard to keep her eyes open.

"Mmhmm," Carlisle hummed as he returned to his bed and laid down, holding Bella on his chest as Esme pulled the blankets up over them. "Thank you," he said as he accepted the book from Jasper.

"Edward mentioned once that it was her favorite," Jasper said with a lopsided grin.

Smiling softly, Carlisle encouraged Bella to sleep as he kept her wrapped in his arms and opened the novel in his hands. Holding the book open in one hand, he petted her hair slowly with the other as he began to read to her _Wuthering Heights_. He heard her sigh softly as she shifted slightly and curled her fingers around the fabric of his sweater, unaware of her own movements. Lifting his hand to turn the page, Carlisle resumed petting her hair a few seconds later and listened as her heartbeat and breathing evened out into the deeper rhythms of sleep as his wife and son sat listening to him read. Even as he wished he could have spared her the pain she was currently in, Carlisle knew that he wouldn't give these moments up for anything.

Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to her hair as he closed the book and set it aside on the bed next to him. Wrapping both arms around his human daughter, he held her close while she slept. Part of him wondered what was taking place between his other two sons while another part of him pushed those thoughts aside in his concern for Bella. Looking up at Esme, he smiled softly as she sat next to him on the bed and laid her hand on Bella's back. He knew that neither he nor his wife would move until the morning, until Bella woke and he hoped that their presence brought the girl in his arms the comfort she needed.

Jasper chuckled softly when he heard Bella mumble his name in her sleep and he moved close enough to touch her arm as he promised her that he was there. She quieted then as a sense of peace fell over her and Jasper smiled as he prayed that for once she would sleep peacefully. Silence settled over the three vampires as they were each soothed by the steady thrum of Bella's beating heart and the soft sighs of her breath as she slept in Carlisle's arms. For the first time since they had discovered the condition she was in, they each felt hope that she was finally taking the first steps on her road to recovery.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bella moaned softly as she began to move. Her hand that had been resting flat over Carlisle's silent heart curling into a loose fist as she rubbed her face with stilted movements hampered by exhaustion. She felt the arms holding her tighten gently around her back; a large hand rubbing slow soothing circles up between her shoulders. She breathed in deeply, yawning as her eyes fluttered open slowly and she frowned in confusion at the soft white cotton sweater that filled her vision. She was still tired, her mind working at a snail's pace as she tried to determine if she was actually awake or not.

"Shh," Carlisle whispered to her softly as he rubbed her back. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart. It's still early."

"Carlisle?" Bella's voice was so soft that he wondered if she had heard herself speak.

"I'm right here, baby girl," he promised her and kissed her hair.

"Where…?" her voice drifted into silence as she settled and stilled on his chest.

"She's out again," Esme said softly from her seat beside her husband. "It's the third time she's woken."

"She is sleeping deeper though and no longer startling awake," Carlisle said and watched Jasper's expression change. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure," Jasper said as he looked at his human sister. "Her emotions…she knows she's not alone anymore, knows that she is safe, but it seems almost…foreign to her. Edward has slept with her plenty of times, so I'm not really sure what to make of what I'm reading from her."

Bella stirred again, pushing up slightly from Carlisle without opening her eyes. He let her move while keeping his arms around her and sat up with her, watching as she moved around. Turning his attention to Esme as he easily lifted Bella and set her on his opposite side, he asked his wife to help her to the bathroom. He watched them leave slowly, Bella tucked against Esme's side as she walked with her half-asleep out of the room. Moving to sit with one leg hanging off the bed and the other bent in front of him, he frowned as he thought over what his son had said.

"Jasper," Carlisle spoke softly and looked toward the door as he heard water for a bath begin to run. "Tell me everything."

"Everything?" the southern vampire asked with a confused shake of his head.

"Everything. From the first time that Bella was introduced to us as a family to now; tell me what you've read from her and what insight that gives you," Carlisle requested as he met his son's eyes.

Jasper nodded slowly once, his lips pursing in thought as his brows drew together in a frown. Bella's emotions had always seemed mature to him as though she was older than her age and appearance allowed. She had truly both been confused and nervous by the care with which his family treated her. Her emotions telling him that she hadn't felt deserving of their affection, but more than that, she hadn't known how to respond to it. It had been those emotions that had drawn him to watch her more closely during the baseball game.

She had seemed to be confused again, uncertain and not just because they were playing a sport. Jasper's eyes narrowed as he thought back to that day and remembered how Bella had reacted when Esme had kept her close to help umpire the game. They were having fun, enjoying being together as a family and Bella… Bella's emotions had not been anything of what he'd expected. She had felt out of place and as though she were intruding on them, she was also painfully shy about involving herself in the game as though… He looked up as his expression told of the realization he'd come to. Bella hadn't had senseless fun before, fun with family or anything else. She hadn't known what to do or how to let go and just be silly.

When James had entered into the equation and his family had stood in protection of her Bella's emotions had only fallen lower. She felt worthless and completely undeserving of the actions they took in defense of her. Looking up at Carlisle as he took in a breath to speak, he saw the expression on the blond man's face and realized that he had been speaking his thoughts aloud the entire time. Carlisle was filled with concern and something that was almost anger. Jasper nodded silently as he focused on the other emotion and realized that Carlisle was feeling incredibly protective of Bella in the same manner as he had the day James had made himself a threat against her. He was calm, but he was also ready to fight to protect her.

"You never said anything then," Carlisle said softly. "That she felt worthless. Does she still feel that way?"

Jasper nodded quietly. "It's almost worse though," he said with a frown. "She still doesn't understand why we came back. She's constantly waiting for us to leave again, cautious of every move she makes. She doesn't…" Jasper fell silent as he tried to put his thoughts into words. "She doesn't…get it. Before her birthday, before everything that happened, she was starting to believe. She was beginning to gain confidence in herself and in Edward and then…she feels lower now than she ever did before."

"You've been blocking Edward," Carlisle said as he stared at his son.

"More like…actively not reading Bella when he's around," he offered with a slight shrug. "The way he responded to everything, I'm afraid he'll make it worse if he knows how low she truly is."

"What do you mean?" Carlisle frowned as he studied Jasper.

"Alice said that Bella insisted her cliff diving was recreational, but I'm not so sure. Maybe on the surface it was and maybe that's what Bella has told herself, but I don't know that she ever meant to come out of that water. I don't think she meant to survive it." Jasper told Carlisle and watched as the man's emotions were written on his face. "I don't know if she was consciously aware of it or not, but from the feel of her emotions, 'recreation' wasn't the whole story."

Carlisle sighed softly and nodded. If he were to be honest, he'd have to admit that he was just as concerned over that as Jasper was. He'd had his suspicions, but had kept quiet about them. How many times had he looked at Bella from the corner of his eye and seen Esme's broken human body instead? How many times had she reminded him recently of his wife in the last moments of her human life? It was more than just this, wasn't it? It was more than just Edward and his family leaving her, there was something else, something deeper and more painful that had been eating at her long before they had ever met her.

Looking up as Esme stepped into the room, he watched her move toward their dresser and closet as she took out clothing of hers for Bella to wear. Asking her how the girl was, he watched his wife frown and shake her head. Bella was still exhausted, her movements slow and clumsy. Twice she had fallen asleep in the bath and the one time she had seemed awake enough to understand that Esme was taking care of her, Bella had seemed somehow ashamed.

"Ashamed of what?" Carlisle asked softly, concern furrowing his brows.

"I don't know," Esme shook her head. "It was as though she was embarrassed at having someone else take care of her in such a manner. It doesn't make sense, but…I got the impression that she's not had that before."

Carlisle sighed and nodded quietly. With each new thing that was revealed, he was becoming more and more suspicious about her history and relationship with her mother. What had her life been like growing up? He already knew that she was the one who had to do all the cooking because her mother couldn't. What else had she been forced to take care of? What other responsibilities had been thrust upon her? There were also the nightmares, the moments when she had talked in her sleep. The way her voice had sounded younger at times, childlike and afraid it concerned him. He was holding his phone to his ear before he realized that his thoughts had turned into actions and he listened to the line ring before it was picked up.

"Carlisle?" Charlie greeted with a touch of concern. "How is Bella?"

"Exhausted, she isn't sleeping very well," Carlisle answered and cursed himself silently for not having eased into the news. "Charlie, I wanted to ask you something and I realize that it may be none of my business, but I need to know…"

"What's the question?" Charlie asked, his voice an almost grumble in the quiet of his surroundings.

"Bella's been talking in her sleep," Carlisle began slowly. "Her voice has sounded younger and she's been begging not to be taken away. Charlie what happened when you and Renee separated?"

A heavy sigh was his answer, the tone of it speaking of Charlie's reluctance to answer. The man was quiet for a long moment, the sound of water lapping at the sides of the boat he was in filling in for his silence. When he did finally speak, his voice was full of regret and underneath it Carlisle could hear the man's pain that he still tried to hide.

"Bella wasn't told that we were divorcing," Charlie said softly. "Renee and I handled everything quietly; she thought it would be better that way. The night she and Bella left we had an argument. Until that night I had thought that she and Bells would be staying close. I had no idea she intended to move to Phoenix. Bells…when she realized that she was being taken away she screamed. She fought to stay and was nearly in a full blown panic attack, but I couldn't keep her. The way the courts ruled, Renee had primary custody. If she wanted to move out of state I couldn't stop her. Making Bells go with her was the hardest thing I've ever done."

Carlisle nodded silently. "How often did you visit with her?"

"She used to come up for two weeks every summer, but that stopped when she was nine. I don't know if she didn't want to come or if she just couldn't anymore," Charlie sighed. "I hadn't seen her since then until she moved in with me last year."

"One more thing, Charlie," Carlisle said softly. "What was Renee like?"

"You mean with Bells?" Charlie asked and Carlisle could hear the frown in his voice.

"Yes," Carlisle said softly and frowned in concern when the man remained silent.

"She loves Bells," Charlie offered slowly. "But there were times when she was younger, when we were still living together, that I know if I hadn't been there she probably would've forgotten that Bells was there. She was a very quiet child. You hear about most kids going through the terrible twos, but not Bells. She never screamed or threw fits, she always just…quiet. Renee always said Bells was more like me."

"Thank you," Carlisle said softly and listened as Charlie sighed.

"Our relationship was different," Charlie said reluctantly, surprising Carlisle as he had believed the police chief was ready to end the call. "When Bells came up to visit during the summers she was different…more mature, I guess. I always thought it was because of the divorce and all, but even back then she would do the dishes and laundry and cooking. She didn't seem to want to be read to or held anymore. I just thought she was mad at me."

"Thank you, that information helps," Carlisle said softly and said his goodbyes when Charlie ended the call.

"The cooking, cleaning and laundry?" Jasper said with a frown. "So she became the adult?" he asked with confusion.

"It would appear so. With neither of her parents explaining the divorce to her beforehand, she wouldn't have understood why she and her mother had to leave. All she would've known was the argument from that night," Carlisle stood from the bed and walked over to the open door, watching as Bella walked toward the stairs tucked under Esme's arm. "She was too young to understand and no one explained it to her. They just let her figure it out on her own."

"And until she was older," Jasper sighed. "She didn't understand the truth of it."

"She felt abandoned, unwanted," Carlisle stepped into the hall intent on going to Bella.

"Carlisle," Jasper's tone was cautioning. "With what Charlie said and the memories that would've been reawakened for her, I don't think Bella's able to understand why we came back. I think she's still expecting us to leave again."

"That won't be happening," Carlisle said with a slightly hard edge to his tone. "She is _my_ daughter."

**:::::**

It didn't take Emmett long to locate his brother, knowing his habits and hunting patterns. He knew when he was close enough for Edward to read his thoughts, the feel of his brother's energy close enough to feel even as the bronze-haired vampire remained unseen. He stood still then in the forest, his thick arms crossed over his broad chest as he projected his thoughts to Edward, specifically his memories of Bella trapped in her nightmares. The sound of his brother's running came to a faltering stop and he knew that not only had Edward heard his thoughts, but he had grabbed his brother's attention fully.

Emmett ground his teeth together in anger as he looped the memory of Bella sobbing in her sleep through his mind. As hard as it was for Emmett to focus on the memory, he knew it would be harder for Edward to see. Everyone always thought that when he said he was beating Edward's ass that he meant it physically, but Emmett had learned long ago that it was far more effective if he used his brother's talent against him.

He waited until Edward appeared through the trees nearly a hundred yards away before he changed what thought he was focusing on. The memory morphed as Edward watched it, the telepathic vampire's expression filling with grief and pain as he fought against the emotions twisting his stomach. He watched as Bella sobbed in her sleep, fighting against Carlisle's hold as she cried out for him and for her father. Edward fell to his knees as Emmett focused his thoughts on all of the times that Bella had cried in her sleep, screamed herself awake and been sick after waking. He threw all of the pain and worry over Bella to his brother and watched as Edward trembled, unable to block his talent from the power of his onslaught.

"You could have told her so many things," Emmett said as he shot toward Edward and stood over his brother. "You could have told her that you were leaving to protect her, leaving to stop Victoria, instead…"

Emmett stopped speaking as he focused his mind on the memories of Jasper and Carlisle gently coaxing the truth from Bella as she remained trapped in her dreams. He repeated her words over and over again in his mind, the sound of her voice choked by tears and the sight of her held in Carlisle's arms as she clung to him in desperation. Then Emmett closed his eyes and played the one memory he knew would be his brother's undoing. Emmett opened his eyes and watched Edward as he focused on the memory of Bella that first night and the feel of her in his arms when Carlisle went to work.

Emmett had run his hands over her shoulder and back to comfort her only to feel how thin she was beneath her clothing. The trembling that rocked through her as she slept and the pounding of her heart in its unsteady staccato rhythm that spoke of her fear and upset, had twisted his heart with indescribable worry. He growled low as he relived that first day for Edward, how impossible it had been for him to wake Bella up when her dreams seemed to bleed from one violent nightmare into the next heartbreaking dream. The hours he had spent holding her while she sobbed in his arms, the heat of her tears soaking through his shirt and the worry of Jasper's words when his brother told him that his talent wasn't reaching her.

"We're taking care of her," Emmett said as he finally gave Edward a bit of relief and focused his mind on the forest around them, letting the scenery fill his mind as he blocked his thoughts. "We're doing what we can to help her, but you should know the effect you had on her. You said that you couldn't live without her, hell you tried to kill yourself, but you were the one that broke her. Finish hunting and get your head on straight before you come home. I swear to you, brother or not, you do anything that causes her condition to be worse and I'll tear you apart myself."

Edward couldn't speak as he stood slowly and looked at Emmett. His brother had always been the guardian, the protector of their family and when one person was injured or upset he was very much like an angered bear. The one thing about Emmett that no one else seemed to be aware of was how undeniably smart he was. Emmett didn't simply go blindly into a fight; no he read each of his opponents and knew how to strike for maximum effectiveness. He and his brother had sparred a few times, but when Emmett was truly angry, his assault was always directed and mental only.

"How is she now?" Edward asked as he calmed.

"When I left she was still exhausted and sleeping. We truly haven't been able to get her to eat much. She might be good at hiding her pain, but how _the hell_ did you not notice her condition?" he fairly growled.

"He didn't notice it because he didn't want to," Alice said as she appeared in the field. "You wanted to believe that everything was fine, Edward even after I told you it wasn't. Don't," she snapped at him when her visions told her what he was planning. "Don't go to her yet. You have to let Carlisle and Esme fix her first or she will just hide again. We still have three days that we're supposed to be gone. Give them that time with her."

"Alice…" Edward began to protest only for her to cut him off.

"Edward, there are other things that need to be figured out," Alice told him and shook her head as she blocked him from reading her mind. "There are things in her past coming back to haunt her. What you said to her was bad enough, but everything that happened from her birthday to the day that you left her to Italy, all of that played as a trigger and brought back so many things she's buried. You have to let them fix her first."

"You're staying out here with us?" Edward asked Emmett as his brother opened his mind to him.

"To make sure you don't go back before they've had the time they need. Plus I need to hunt too," Emmett looked over Edward's shoulder toward the forest. "Rosalie still pissed?"

"At you?" Edward asked with a snort of amusement. "Most likely. We went in different directions though; her thoughts were rather loud. Rosalie's mad at everyone right now," Edward tipped his head, "mostly me and you, but she's going through the whole family."

"Why?" Emmett asked as they began to run deeper in the forest toward the heavy scents of bears and mountain lions.

"She was the only one to vote no," Alice said and rolled her eyes. "She wants Bella to have the human life she didn't, but she's not taking into account that Bella doesn't want that. She never has."

"Alice," Edward looked at her when she blocked her mind from him and sighed when he shook her head. "Why?"

"Because if you see then you'll go to her and I can't let you do that," Alice said. "There's more here than just what you see, Edward and there are things that she doesn't want you to know. You have to let them take care of this."

"How much more?" Emmett asked and Alice sighed heavily.

"Her nightmares aren't all because of Edward or what happened in Italy," Alice said and glanced at Emmett before angling to run in a different direction. "But all that happened in the past few months is what triggered all of this."

She split off before Emmett could ask more and as much as he wanted to run after Alice, he understood that she was leaving so as to not let Edward accidently see anything. He stayed with his brother watching Edward flinch every now and then when he lost his focus on maintaining a curtain over his thoughts. He called to him, stopping as they came to the edge of a cliff overlooking a thickly forested valley below. He looked at Edward as he let the mental block down completely.

"You know me," Emmett said with a shrug. "I don't like keeping a shield up if I don't have to, but she was in a lot of pain. I can keep it up if you need me to," he offered.

"No," Edward choked out. "As much as it pains me to see it, I need to know. Alice was right; I didn't see it because I didn't want to. I wanted everything to be fine and because of that, I ignored all the warning signs that things weren't."

"She doesn't like admitting to fear," Emmett said. "Did she ever have nightmares with you after James?"

"No," Edward looked at his brother, surprised by the question. "She did with you?" he asked as he read Emmett's thoughts. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Figured you already knew," Emmett shrugged as he breathed in deeply and grinned. "There's a bear up ahead."

Edward rolled his eyes as he followed Emmett off the cliff and ran beside him. He wanted to go back to Bella, everything inside of him was demanding that he do just that, but he understood what Emmett and Alice had been telling him. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew they were right. Bella needed Carlisle and Esme; they both provided something to her that she needed, something he couldn't give her. She needed something she'd not had before – parents. She had spent too long being the one to take care of everyone else, and Edward knew that he had to let his parents take care of her now. He just hoped that they would be able to help her heal from all that had happened, both in her past and from the recent events that had separated them.

**:::::**

Bella looked up from the bowl in front of her, one hand absently rubbing her stomach to soothe the cramps as the other slowly spooned the fresh applesauce into her mouth. It tasted wonderful, the hints of cinnamon and nutmeg reminding her of apple cider, but her stomach wasn't pleased with having anything in it or so it seemed. Squeezing her eyes closed as she dropped the spoon into the bowl with a dull clink, she turned away from the table and bent over as she pressed both hands against her stomach and clenched her jaw as she breathed harshly through her nose.

A cool hand brushed against her cheek, her face cupped in their large palm and she blinked slowly up at Carlisle as she opened her eyes. His gold eyes were filled with concern, his voice soft as he asked her to describe the pain she was in and she shook her head, fearing that she would be sick if she even tried to speak. He tipped his head up, kissing her forehead as he stood and asked Esme for his medical bag. He spoke softly to Bella as he watched her close her eyes again and bend further forward as she tried to stave off the cramps twisting her insides, groaning as the nausea grew worse.

"Carlisle?" Esme asked with concern as she rubbed Bella's back in an effort to soothe her.

"It's her nausea," Carlisle said, shushing Bella gently when she flinched as the needle pierced her skin. "This should help, Sweetheart. Take deep breaths now, slowly," he coached her and rubbed her arm as he applied a small circle bandage to the injection site. "There we go," he soothed a few moments later when she seemed to calm. "Is it better?"

Bella nodded slowly, feeling the cramps ease only to leave her with an overwhelming cloud of exhaustion in their wake. She sat up slowly, feeling light headed as she moved and narrowed her eyes in confusion as the sound of the voices around her seemed to be distorted as though she was hearing them from underwater. She closed her eyes as she tried to fight away the vertigo and felt her face cupped in two icy hands as she heard a single voice called out to her, the tone gentle but insistent. She opened her eyes slowly, finding Carlisle's somewhat blurred image in front of her and focused her attention on him.

"Dizzy," she struggled to get the word out and closed her eyes again as she felt herself lifted from the chair.

Carlisle sat down in the vacated chair with Bella in his lap and accepted the cup of water from his wife. His voice was soft as he encouraged Bella to drink and held the glass to her lips, pressing his lips into a thin line when her hand came up to rest on his. He kissed her hair as he listened to Jasper speak of how confused Bella was and the almost oppressive vertigo that was coming from her in waves. The southern vampire nodded slowly and watched Bella carefully as the dizziness calmed, his human sister falling almost limply against Carlisle's shoulder.

"Would you eat a little bit more for me?" Carlisle asked Bella quietly and smiled sadly when she nodded. "Ok," he said and reached out for her spoon.

Bella blushed softly as the spoon was brought to her, feeling embarrassed to have Carlisle feed her but far too tired to protest. She blinked slowly, her eyes closing as a signal emerged between them without conscious thought. Each time he brought a new spoonful of applesauce to her he would rub his thumb against her arm and each time she needed to stop she would squeeze his wrist of the arm holding her. After the third time she squeezed his wrist, he set the spoon back in the bowl and kissed her hair.

"That's enough for now," he said softly and offered her a bit of water. "Are you still tired?"

Bella nodded against his shoulder, her eyes too heavy to open and Carlisle held her close for a moment before standing with her cradled in his arms. Kissing her hair as he asked if she was wanting to sleep, he chuckled softly when she said she'd been sleeping too much. Carrying her into the living room, he watched Esme curiously as she moved to their extensive DVD collection and pulled out a film he knew was one of his wife's favorites. Bella's eyes opened slowly as the music began to play and she laughed softly, content to remain tucked under Carlisle's arm as he sat with her on the couch.

"The Great Mouse Detective?" Bella asked as Esme came to join them, sandwiching her in between them.

"I rather enjoy this portrayal of Sherlock Holmes," Esme said as she spread a blanket over Bella and smoothed her hand over the girl's hair. "I'm a bit of a Disney fan," she admitted with a smile.

"Me too," Bella said softly as she snuggled closer to Carlisle without conscious thought, her head pillowed against his chest.

"What's your favorite?" Carlisle asked softly, his hand rubbing her shoulder absently as he held her.

"Beauty and the Beast," she mumbled softly and Carlisle looked down on her with a soft grin.

"She's relaxed," Carlisle answered Esme's curious gaze. "But I don't think she's falling asleep just yet."

"She's not asleep yet," Jasper confirmed Carlisle's observations, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "She's just…peaceful. I've never felt this from her before. She's not clouded by worries or uncertainty; she's not self conscious at all. She's just…peaceful." He studied Bella's face; her eyes closed and looked up at the feel of Carlisle's and Esme's worry and curiosity. "You can ask your questions now," he told them. "Keep your voices soft," he advised them both, "but she should answer any questions you have now. She's completely unguarded."

Carlisle nodded once and looked down at Bella, rubbing his hand over her arm as he held her close. He spoke to her softly, little things at first as he eased into the questions that both he and his wife had. Kissing her hair, he looked up at Esme, his eyes telling her to ask her questions first. Esme nodded quietly, her hand petting down over Bella's hair in a slow repetitive motion. Taking in a deep breath, Esme kept her voice soothing and soft as she spoke.

"Bella, sweetheart I was wondering something," she said and smiled softly at the soft sound that came from the girl. "How did you and Renee get along that first year in Phoenix?"

"Get along?" Bella mumbled without opening her eyes and Jasper nodded at Esme signaling for her to continue.

"Yes, honey," Esme continued, keeping her voice low and soothing. "That first year, how did you and she adjust to being on your own without Charlie? You said that you took over the cooking, what else happened?"

"Happened?" Bella repeated her tired mind not understanding the question as mismatched lines of thought were drawn together in a haphazard pattern. "You mean school?"

Carlisle looked up at Esme with a frown before his attention turned on his son. Jasper shook his head, his own confusion registering as he told them softly that she was on the edge of sleep, but not truly awake or asleep, instead simply floating somewhere in between. Whatever she was thinking, it may not make as much sense to them as it did to her. The only advice the southern vampire had to offer was to prompt her wherever she led them.

"Tell us about school," Carlisle said softly and kissed her hair. "What about school that first year?"

"Daddy always picked me up from preschool, when we moved he wasn't there to get me," Bella's words were spoken slowly, her voice having returned to the softer childlike voice they'd heard a few times before. "Sometimes…sometimes Renee forgot. School got out at three, but sometimes she wouldn't come to get me until after five. Some days…some days I walked home."

"How many times did you have to walk home?" Esme asked softly as she looked at Carlisle with concern.

"A lot," Bella mumbled. "Two or three days a week." Her voice fell silent as her hand came up to fist in Carlisle's sweater, her mind moving closer to sleep. "She tried, I know she did, but she just forgot. She had a job," Bella yawned softly, her eyes never opening. "She wrote stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Carlisle asked softly and wondered just how long they had before she drifted off to sleep completely.

"Articles for a local magazine…gardening…art," her voice grew softer as she curled closer to Carlisle. "She'd get wrapped up in the articles…she'd forget."

"Did she ever forget anything else?" Esme asked gently as she brought the blanket higher up around Bella's shoulders.

Bella sighed softly, remaining quiet for a moment before answering. "She'd forget clothes…"

"Clothes?" Esme asked and smoother hand over Bella's hair. "Do you mean the laundry?" Bella hummed her agreement. "When did you take that over?"

"Don't…r'mber," Bella fell silent her tired mind growing heavier. "J's'pr?"

"I'm right here, darlin'," Jasper said softly as he reached out and touched her cheek from where he sat on the low coffee table. "Did Renee ever forget you anywhere else?" he asked as he began to understand where her fear of abandonment and feelings of worthlessness were stemming from.

"Store," Bella mumbled her hand moving in minute jerky motions as her tired mind told her that Jasper should be closer.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," Jasper said and took her hand when he felt her emotions searching for him. "What store did she forget you at?"

"Market," Bella sighed as her fingers tightened around his hand and he chafed his thumb over her knuckles. "Went shopping for stuff…got separated…"

"How long were you lost?" Esme asked softly and rubbed Bella's arm through the blanket.

"I don't know," Bella said as she frowned. "A while."

"How old were you?" Carlisle asked her softly and brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek.

"Seven…nine…" her voice trailed off again and Carlisle's brow furrowed.

"Bella, did she forget you more than once?" he asked alarmed.

"Quiet…didn't notice…books…"

"She's out," Jasper said a few moments later. "With what Charlie told you earlier," he looked at Carlisle, "and what she's said, her quietness is what made her mother lose track of her so often. She was abandoned more than once."

"She was six years old when she became the adult," Carlisle said, his voice hard with disapproval. "She's never had anyone to take care of her."

"Here," Jasper stood from his seat on the coffee table and leaned close. "I'll take her back up to bed. She'll be more comfortable."

"Your control is much better," Carlisle praised his son as he gently unwrapped his arms from around Bella so that Jasper could lift her from the couch. "Shh," he whispered to Bella when she stirred and watched as she wrapped her arms around Jasper's neck. "I don't think she was ever mad at you," he told Jasper as he watched Bella curl closer to him in her sleep.

"I don't think she'd know how to be mad at me," the southern vampire chuckled as he stepped away from the couch. "I'll stay with her."

"Thank you, Jasper," Esme said softly and watched him walk toward the stairs. "Are you alright?" she asked Carlisle as she turned to give him her full attention.

"I don't know," Carlisle said softly as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "The courts may have ruled in her favor during the divorce, but she wasn't a fit mother. Bella lost her childhood. I wonder if she even remembers just being free and being able to play."

"I've never heard her once talk poorly of Renee," Esme said as she rubbed her husband's back. "Even as young as she was, Bella seemed to understand that her mother needed someone to look after her. I wonder when it was that she understood that their divorce wasn't her fault."

Carlisle turned his head and regarded his wife with a confused expression. He couldn't see a reason why Bella should ever have thought her parents' divorce to be her fault and asked Esme for an explanation. Her fingers combed into the side of his hair as she spoke, her voice low as she told Carlisle that more often than not, a child would see a fight between their parents as their fault so a divorce would be seen the same way.

"They never explained anything to her," Esme said softly. "Don't you remember what Bella said when I asked her how she was doing after James' attack?"

Carlisle sat up straight as his eyes narrowed in thought. "We don't talk about the bad," he said slowly and looked at Esme. "She never explained that, but she was still taking the codeine for her leg. I thought it was just mumbles."

"No," Esme smiled sadly at her husband's concerned expression. "There are some things a mother understands better, the things that aren't said."

"You're an excellent mother, Esme," Carlisle told her as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips.

"And you are a wonderful father," she returned and kissed him. "All of our children have needed you in their own way, but I think Bella needs you the most. After all we've learned and all Jasper has revealed to us, she's never felt cared for before and that we are doing so now is only confusing her. She doesn't understand her place with us yet. I think…" she frowned as she thought over the past few hours. "I think Bella has always seen herself as Edward's love, but not as part of our family. I don't think she understands that we love her as much as he does."

"Why wouldn't she?" Carlisle asked as he sought his wife's council.

"Think about it, my love," she held his hands in hers. "In Bella's life, in all of her experiences, being part of a family meant being the responsible one and taking care of her parents. We don't need her to take care of us. We're the ones who are taking care of her. I don't think she knows how to let herself be taken care of. Edward has always maintained that her resistance to being taken care of or spoiled was stubbornness," Esme shook her head. "But I don't think that's it. From a very young age, Bella learned that if she wasn't the one in control and taking care of everything…"

"Then things would fall apart," Carlisle finished her thought with a frown. "Edward leaving reminded her of being taken from Charlie and being lost in the woods…"

"Reminded her of all the times that her mother forgot her or left her behind," Esme finished and nodded.

Carlisle sighed softly and pulled Esme close against his side as he held her wrapped in his arms. He hated to see his children hurting, but Bella's pain was worse than any of them had originally thought. Three days ago he had thought that she was perhaps simply missing a bit of sleep, but when he found her in the drug store and followed her out to her truck… He closed his eyes as the image of her on the verge of collapse cycled through his mind again. It was burned into his memory and unwilling to leave him. She had been trembling so much and doing all she could to hide her illness.

Carlisle stilled as he looked up, his brow furrowing deeply. Bella was hiding how sick she was. In fact, as he thought back to the incident during the summer when she had been sick after getting caught in the rain storm, she had hidden her illness then, too. The only reason he had found out about it was because Charlie hadn't been able to wake her in the morning and she was running a high fever. Even Edward hadn't known she was ill until the moment of her father's discovery. Why did she always hide her illness?

"Carlisle, what is it?" Esme asked as he stood and moved away from the couch, his furrowed brow evidence of his distraction.

"She hides her illness," he said as he walked toward the stairs. "Just like she tried to hide her pain from everyone, she hides her illness." He turned to look at Esme. "Didn't you notice? After we brought home from Phoenix, she wouldn't take her pain medication in front of anyone, not even Edward. He said that he thought she was handling everything very well, but she wasn't, she was hiding it. Why does she hide it?"

"I don't know," Esme said as she stood and folded the blanket in half before laying it over the back of the couch. "What are you thinking?" she asked as she moved toward her husband.

"The more answers we get from her, the more questions I have. There's something…missing," Carlisle said and sighed as though he couldn't find the word to accurately describe what he was thinking. "Something isn't adding up and I just can't figure out what it is."

"Do you want to call Charlie again?" Esme asked as she and Carlisle once more moved toward the stairs and she followed him up the floor above.

"No," Carlisle stopped in the hallway and looked toward his open bedroom, his lips pulling up at the side to see Jasper holding Bella. "I think the only one who holds the answers we need is Bella. Getting her to answer them, I fear, will be difficult."

"I was just about to call for you," Jasper said with a touch of amusement as Carlisle stepped into the room. "I'm keeping her asleep right now, but she doesn't sleep as deeply for me as she does for you."

Smiling softly as he moved to the bed and laid down, Carlisle gladly accepted Bella from his son and pulled his sleeping daughter to lie on top of his chest. She sighed in her sleep as she settled on top of him and nuzzled her face into his chest as she yawned. Her eyes blinked tiredly without ever fully opening and she stilled upon Carlisle's chest, a sense of peace falling over her as soon as his arms wrapped around her back. Esme smiled and kissed her husband's cheek as she pulled the blankets up over them with Jasper's help.

"It's a good thing you have the next two days off," Esme teased him and Carlisle smiled.

"I wasn't expecting to have them off, but it seems Charlie called in a favor," he said. "He's far more worried about Bella than he lets on." Tipping his head up from the pillow he kissed his human daughter's hair. "We will take care of her."

"Was there ever any doubt of that?" Esme asked with a smile and looked up when Jasper touched her shoulder.

"What is it?" Jasper asked Esme, his attention focused on the worry and anger she was feeling.

Esme turned her attention back to Bella, her voice held silent as she rested her hand on Bella's back. Her daughter, she clenched her jaw as her eyes pricked, Bella was _her_ daughter. Perhaps not by birth, she thought, but she had adopted her into their family and just as much as Edward was her son, so too was Bella her daughter. She hadn't been given the support she needed, not in the least bit. Her mother may have been loving but she hadn't the first clue of what it meant to be responsible for someone else. Her anger spiked again and she felt Jasper use his talent to soothe her at once feeling both grateful and annoyed.

"I'm sorry," she glanced up at Jasper.

"You never have to apologize for your emotions," Jasper said quietly as he let her feel his curiosity.

"She was left alone," Esme said with difficulty, her voice full of pain and anger. "She was separated from her father without anyone explaining to her why it happened, without anyone telling her that it wasn't her fault. She was left to care for herself because her mother, the woman who was supposed to take care of her, couldn't even take care of herself. She was abandoned and forgotten and who knows _what else_," she growled as her anger exploded into sobs and closed her eyes as Jasper wrapped her in his arms. "She was just a child," she cried into her son's chest and felt his arms tighten around her as he stroked her hair.

"Why don't you lie down with us?" Carlisle suggested and watched as Jasper released Esme a few moments later. "We'll take care of her, my love, I promise you that," he said as she curled against his side, her arm joining his around Bella's back. "Why don't you try to relax some, hmm?"

"She's my daughter," Esme said fiercely, her voice soft as Carlisle turned his head and kissed her brow. "She's my little girl now."

"She is," Carlisle agreed. "And we will help her through this. Everything that happened on and after her birthday awakened the old pain. We will help her heal from this."

"J's'pr," Bella mumbled and the southern vampire chuckled softly as he bent forward and kissed her cheek.

"I'm right here, Bella," he promised his human sister. "I'm not going anywhere."

He sat down on the bed beside Carlisle, his hand resting on Bella's back and listened as she sighed in her sleep. There it was; that feeling of peace and harmony once more infused her being and he knew that it had nothing at all to do with his talent. Bella knew that she was with family, knew that she was safe and protected and loved. She called his name once more in her sleep before drifting deeper into the sweet oblivion of her dreams. It was slow, but she was healing and soon, Jasper smiled to himself at the knowledge he held, soon she would stand taller and stronger than ever.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bella moaned softly as she took in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering open slowly. She could feel the hardness beneath her, the cool bands of strength surrounding her and frowned as he pushed herself up just enough to find that she had been sleeping on Carlisle's chest. She blushed softly when she met his eyes and cast her gaze to the side when he cupped her cheek and kissed her brow. She felt more awake now than she had in a long time and found herself confused as she tried to remember when she had come over to Edward's house. She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the gentle pressure of Carlisle's arms around her as he petted her hair and encouraged her to rest for a bit longer.

Giving in to his soft spoken encouragements and the laziness she felt, Bella laid her head back down on his chest and let herself relax. She was certain she must still be dreaming as she couldn't remember Carlisle having held her in such a manner before. A quiet chuckle sounded near her and she felt a cool brush of fingers against her cheek. She felt lips press a kiss to the same place on her cheek seconds later and turned her hand just enough to allow the person to take her hand. She didn't understand why she remembered her hand being held or the feeling of being cared for as though she was something precious.

"You are loved, darlin'," Jasper said to her softly, his hand slowly rubbing her back as Carlisle petted her hair. "Go to sleep now, we'll explain everything once you wake up again."

She moaned softly, her mind refusing to process the words she wanted to speak as she squeezed her fingers gently around the cool hand holding hers. She thought she heard Jasper's voice sound a short moment later, but his words weren't loud enough for her to understand and Carlisle's slow petting of her hair soothed her back to sleep easily. Esme smiled as she looked upon Bella, her relief showing on her face.

"She slept for almost eight hours that time," Esme said softly and looked at her husband. "She didn't cry out or startle once."

"No," Jasper smiled softly and nodded. "The emotions I was reading from her the entire time were peaceful. Her nightmares have stopped."

"I want to try some pudding with her when she wakes again," Carlisle said softly. "You bought yogurt as well?" he asked his wife.

"Strawberry and blackberry," Esme replied with a smile. "From what I could tell she favors them."

"Good," Carlisle nodded as much as his position allowed. "Yogurt and pudding. I want to try and get her back on solid foods soon. She's lost at least fifteen pounds since we left."

"I bought chicken and noodles, I can make her soup," Esme said as she rose from the bed. "I think I'll get that started now."

Carlisle looked after his wife, watching as she disappeared from the room. She truly loved being a mother. He lifted his hands to Bella's hair, combing his fingers into the brown locks at her temples and gathering her hair back away from her face. The circles were almost gone; the near bruise-color beneath her eyes that denoted her exhaustion had lightened until it was barely visible to his vampire eyes. Touching his bent fingers to her cheek, he felt the heat of her skin and smiled to himself as he curled his fingers around the back of her neck beneath the curtain of her hair.

"You seem pleased," Jasper observed curiously.

"Her fever is gone," Carlisle said as he glanced up at his son. "She has slept enough in the past few days that she's recovered from the exhaustion she's been suffering. Considering how long she's been dependant on the sedatives and stimulants in order to make it through the day, I wonder how much she actually remembers."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked as turned his eyes on Bella's sleeping form.

"The way exhaustion affects the cognitive mind, she may not have formed solid memories from the past few days," Carlisle explained as he held Bella close. "She may not remember being brought over here or much of anything else since then. In truth she hasn't been awake enough to recall much."

"The times she's talked with us," Jasper said with a confused shake of his head, denying Carlisle's assessment.

"Her exhaustion was ever present, Jasper," Carlisle explained. "It's possible that she won't remember."

"Carlisle," Bella mumbled his name, responding to the sound of his voice.

"Shh," he soothed her and petted her hair. "Go back to sleep, Sweetheart. We didn't mean to wake you."

"Sleep?" she repeated, her voice soft.

"I don't think she's awake," Jasper said as he placed his hand on her back. "Her emotions are too…still," he offered with a quirk of his brow.

Bella's hand moved slowly, sliding up over Carlisle's shoulder to curl behind his neck and the blond man chuckled softly as he rubbed her back. She was still sleeping, just on the edge of consciousness where she could hear and respond to their voices, but not conscious enough to be considered awake. Tipping his head up from the pillow, Carlisle kissed her hair and sighed as he looked up at Jasper when his son's phone rang.

Jasper answered the call, greeting his wife as he stepped away from the bed and lifted a single brow as he listened to her news with amusement. Speaking to her of his love before ending the call, he met Carlisle's gaze and looked back over his shoulder when Esme stepped into the room. He relayed the information to them that a storm was moving in over the lake that Charlie and Billy Black were fishing at. The roads would be washed out for more than a few days and as far as Alice's vision told, he wouldn't be able to leave the cabins for well over a week.

"According to Alice, the storm will cause flooding on the back roads, but the lake will flood as well," Jasper said and chuckled. "She said to expect his call in the next five hours or so."

"So she's ours for the time being then," Esme said and smiled as she met her husband's eyes.

"Yes," Carlisle said. "She's ours…I think she's waking," he said with a slow smile. "She's been stirring a bit."

Bella shifted slightly as Carlisle held her, the sound of her heartbeat having told him that she hadn't fully returned to sleep those few moments ago. She breathed in deeply and he focused on the sound of her lungs filling, pleased by the clear sound of the air moving in and out of her lungs. He had been worried for a time that the exhaustion and malnutrition she had suffered for so long would lead to illness, possibly even pneumonia. It seemed to him now that his worries were for naught as his human daughter that he held in his arms was returning to health.

He kept his arms around her, loosing them slowly as she blinked drowsily and pushed up from where she had been sleeping upon his chest. He moved as well, sitting up with her as she rose and holding her tucked against his side once she was seated next to him. She was still leaning heavily against him, her eyes mostly closed, and Carlisle wondered how often it was that she ever gave herself the chance to sleep in. Turning his head and kissing her temple, his lips curved up slowly as he met her eyes with a fatherly smile.

"Carlisle?" Bella spoke his name with a confused frown. "When did I come over here?"

"Do you remember me finding you outside the pharmacy?" he asked her as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

Bella's eyes narrowed, her gaze falling to the side as she tried to pull up the memory he was talking about. It felt to be little more than a dream to her, the wisps of his voice, the touch of his hand. The harder she tried to focus on the memory of that night, the more it eluded her and other thoughts came to her instead. As untouchable as early morning mist, she recalled Esme guiding her to the kitchen and offering her warm applesauce. Closing her eyes as she focused harder on the memories that were almost forgotten, she could feel the pain twisting her stomach and the sound of Carlisle's soothing voice.

The almost-memories brought with them the ghostly feelings of being held, comforted as she was fed the applesauce. She couldn't remember watching him feed her and guessed that it meant her eyes had been closed. She tried to reach for more, find something else, but there wasn't anything else there to bring forth. All that her mind offered her was the soothing peaceful sounds of Carlisle's, Esme's and Jasper's voices. She bit her lip without opening her eyes as sorrow filled her heart. Ever since they returned it had seemed to her that Jasper was doing his best to keep his distance from her and she remembered Edward telling her how she had hurt the southern vampire.

Cool lips pressed a kiss to her forehead as masculine hands framed her face. Opening her eyes slowly, her chocolate orbs widened to find that it was Jasper who was in front of her. Her eyes filled with tears, her heart constricting with a confusing mixture of relief, guilt, sorrow and love and before she had time to think over her actions, her arms were wrapped around his neck. She sobbed into his shoulder, never realizing that she was speaking as she mumbled broken apologies to him and unconsciously tightened her hold around his neck when he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's not your fault, Darlin'," Jasper promised her as he stroked her hair. "It was never your fault."

She took in a shuddering breath as he lifted her and moved her to sit in his lap. The more she tried to stop crying the harder the sobs were pulled from within her until she felt as though she were being ripped apart. She thought she heard Carlisle speak again, Jasper's voice sounding a few seconds later, but she was powerless against the outpouring of emotions. A kiss was pressed against her temple as a blanket was wrapped around her and as comforting as it all was, she felt as though each move made to soothe her was only breaking her further.

"Jasper, are you unable to calm her?" Carlisle asked as he helped his son wrap the blanket around her.

"I'm not even trying to," Jasper said as he tucked the blanket around Bella before holding her close once more. "She needs to cry this out. She's bottled everything up for too long."

Jasper held her close, rubbing her back as she cried in his arms, the heat of her tears scalding him as they soaked through his shirt. Kissing her temple as he kept close attention to her emotions, he knew that she wouldn't be able to stop anytime soon. Too much had happened and she had been strong for far too long. Now that the floodgates had been properly opened, years of pain and grief were overflowing with hurricane force. He knew that she wouldn't be able to put the tight rein back on her emotions until they had been exhausted from her.

Keeping one arm wrapped firmly around Bella's back, Jasper moved back on the bed and smiled his thanks to Carlisle as he moved to give him room. Lying back slowly, Jasper returned both arms around Bella, holding her close and rested his head on the pillows as he held her on his chest. He could feel her trying desperately to bottle her emotions once more and each time she did all it took was a kiss to her hair or a soothing word from him and her control crumbled. He knew what no one else knew, the truth that she would never admit to, Bella was afraid of her own emotions. She was afraid to love, afraid to be hurt, and even more terrified that others believed as she did – that she wasn't worth it.

"Is there anything we can do?" Esme asked as she scooted closer to Japer and smoothed her hand down the length of Bella's hair.

"Right now she just needs to cry," he said softly. "She has to let it out."

"The chicken!" Esme exclaimed softly as the scent caught her attention.

"Well, at least she has something to keep her busy," Carlisle mused as his wife flew out of the room. "How does she feel to you?" he asked as he turned his attention back to Bella.

"She's purging," Jasper answered quietly as he petted Bella's hair. "Everything is coming to the surface; everything that she's ever denied herself from feeling is coming out. It's helping her – crying, I mean. She's probably going to cry herself to sleep though."

Carlisle nodded quietly and wondered if perhaps he should get her a sedative as she continued to cry, but his son's insistence that she needed this stayed his hand. It was long moments later before her aching sobs turned to soft whimpers and hiccups and Carlisle smiled sadly as he watched her turn her head to rest her cheek on Jasper's shoulder. Her eyes were red and swollen, tears still leaking quietly from them as she blinked slowly, tiredly before giving into the exhaustion she felt. Jasper released a slow deep breath through his nose as he felt her succumb to her emotional exhaustion.

"She's asleep," he said softly as he felt the stillness and depth of her unconsciousness.

"How long?" Carlisle asked and watched his son frown as he considered the question.

"A few hours at least," Jasper said. "I don't think she's let herself cry before. She's completely exhausted herself."

**:::::**

"Finally," Alice sighed as she stood under the light of the moon, watching over Bella and her family through her visions. "I know you're there, Edward," she said without turning to him.

"You let me see this," he said as he stepped toward her from the cover of the trees. "You've been blocking everything else, but you let me see this. Why?"

"Because," Alice turned her eyes to him. "She's finally healing. There are still a few more things and it won't be easy to get them out of her now that she's no longer exhausted all the time."

"Can you see what they are?" he asked and frowned as he stared at her. "You can, but you're hiding them from me. Why?"

Alice turned away from Edward then, her movements slow as she made her way to a nearby fallen log and looked up into the starlit sky. She waited for her brother to join her before speaking, her words colored by her emotions. She could see the things Bella had yet to say because of the decisions made by their family members to help her heal. She could see what her human sister would reveal and it wasn't what she would call pretty. She looked at Edward as the last of the words fell from her lips and watched as he bowed his head.

"Alice, just tell me," he begged of her and met her eyes.

"You have to promise not to go running back," she said softly as she searched her visions for what he would do and nodded to herself. "Good," she said before he could say anything. "Edward, sit down," she nodded to the fallen tree and waited until he had complied to her request. "Renee dated someone while Bella was in middle school," she began slowly and Edward shook his head, his expression clearly stating that he didn't see the significance of her statement.

Alice sat down with him, her tongue peeking out to wet her lips before she continued. Bella had been nine at the time her mother began seeing the man. It was a very influential age for girls, the time when they began learning just how cruel other girls could be. The man Renee had become involved with was a teacher at Bella's school and while that may not have seemed like a big deal, the man was married and his daughters were in the same classes as Bella. The fact that the relationship had been between the adults didn't matter to the man's twin daughters and they had done everything in their power to make Bella's life hell.

There were never any physical attacks, at least none that left behind marks or evidence of the encounters, but every girl knew that words were far more damning than any beating ever could be. Bella hadn't told anyone, always seeking to protect her mother and knowing that Renee would never be able to handle Bella being the focus of anyone's anger. Alice shook her head and looked down at her hands.

"Bella was hurting, a lot," she said slowly. "But when the news came to light of the affair, Renee was heartbroken and humiliated. Bella took care of her mother without ever revealing what had been happening to her at school. The bullying went on for almost two years."

"You can see all of this?" Edward asked her and Alice nodded silently.

"I can see it because when Esme will ask Bella about it, she will relive all of her memories over again. She won't want to say anything, but you and I both know how good Esme is at getting someone to talk," she said and Edward uttered a soft laugh.

"It's the mother in her," he said and looked up at Alice. "There's something else, isn't there? Something you're still hiding."

Alice shook her head. "Not hiding, it's something I can't see yet. Carlisle…Carlisle wants to know why she always hides her illnesses and pain when she's been injured, but he hasn't made the decision to ask her yet. Until he does I won't be able to see what Bella says."

"If you had to guess?" he asked and saw Alice stiffen, the reluctance to say anything clear in her eyes. "Alice," he prompted her for an answer and listened as she sighed.

"After everything else that's been revealed," she hedged and pursed her lips. "I would say it has something to do with Renee. Everything so far has led back to Renee."

Alice sat quietly, waiting for what she knew was coming. Her brother could be very kind and understanding, gentlemanly and caring, but the artist in him that drove him to create such beautiful pieces of music was powered by a volatile emotional side. She watched his hands clench into fists, the muscle in his jaw ticking before he rose from his seat next to her with fury in his movements. He growled low as he sought for control over his emotions, his eyes flashing fire as he paced through the ankle high flowering grasses.

"Why the hell was she allowed to take Bella?" he snarled, turning on his sister as he demanded an answer to his question.

"Because," Alice said calmly. "It was the way the courts ruled. It's not always right, but in most cases the best interest of the child is to stay with their mother."

"She wasn't fit!" he snarled and Alice rose to her feet as Emmett appeared behind Edward.

"No, she wasn't," Alice said and cast her eyes to Emmett as she shook her head. "Let him vent."

"Bella shouldn't have had to take care of her," he raged as he moved about and Alice watched calmly as her brother vented the anger he felt.

"You're right," she said. "But perhaps she did the best she could. They never would have let Charlie have primary custody, Edward. He's a cop; his work is too dangerous for the courts to have approved him being a single parent. Even in a small town like Forks there's still a chance of some crazy person with a gun making a stupid mistake."

"She was so young," he said softly as his upset disappeared in worry for his love.

"She has us," Alice reminded him. "And she has Carlisle and Esme. Can truly think of anyone better to give her the loving parental support she needs right now?" she asked with a lopsided grin and watched as Edward finally smiled.

"No, I can't," he smiled. "They're exactly what she needs."

"Now do you understand why Emmett and I have kept you out here? Why we have refused to let you go home yet?" she asked and Edward nodded. "Good. Two more days, Edward," she reminded him. "It's not so long."

Another set of eyes was watching them, listening in to what was being said and even as she stayed out of sight, she felt conflicted. Part of her wanted to offer Bella the same solace that she knew Esme was, while another and far greater part of her still wanted to scare the girl away. She had caused enough trouble, hadn't she? And for what? Life as one of them? A chance to stay with Edward for eternity as some cold and unchanging creature? Rosalie shook her head at the absurdity of it all. The fool was giving up all the possibilities that her human life held for nothing more than a changeless existence.

Hadn't the issue with Jasper – or hell, what happened with James – taught her anything? Bella needed to run as far and as fast as she could to get away from their family. She had no place with them, no purpose. So what if Carlisle and Esme thought of her as another daughter already, the couple would become attached to people far too easily in her opinion. This life was forced upon them, on all of them and Carlisle had been no different. He hadn't been given a choice as to whether or not he would become a vampire, but he had felt fine enough to force it on others.

She shook her head as she moved away from the tree she was hiding behind and slipped away from her family silently. How could they be so blind? Didn't they understand that this wasn't any kind of existence at all? Yes, she had found love and passion and beauty with Emmett, but she still wished for the things she would never had. She wished to feel her body change and her stomach expand with Emmett's child growing inside of her. She wanted to grow old with Emmett, to watch their children grow and have babies of their own.

That Bella was essentially being given a choice and choosing, _actually choosing_, to be one them was ridiculous. The girl had to be defective in some manner otherwise she would've chosen differently. Perhaps her inability to think clearly had something to do with why Edward wasn't able to read her thoughts. Rosalie chuckled to herself at the notion. Bella did seem to be rather slow on some things. Perhaps her brain was broken, Rosalie mused, it would certainly explain a few things. She turned back to travel deeper in the Canadian wilds before stilling and tipping her head in thought.

Alice had insisted that Edward needed to stay away from their house but had never said anything about anyone else. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do or what she was expecting to find, but something in her demanded that she go back. She turned on her heel and took off into the forest at a full run. She intended to make it home before anyone could think to stop her, but more than that…more than that she needed to understand. She didn't like admitting to not knowing things, she hated sounding stupid, but maybe if she just watched them with Bella she would understand.

**:::::**

Jasper tipped his head up from the pillows and watched Bella's eyes flutter as they slowly opened. She moaned softly, his lips pulling up at the side in a smile as he tucked her dark hair back away from her face. He had thought she would only sleep for a few hours, but the few he had predicted turned into six. Her body was still recovering, Carlisle had told him, and in doing so it was demanding as much sleep from her as it could get. Brushing his lips against her forehead, he moved with her and sat up slowly. She didn't seem all that awake to him at first, her eyes still mostly closed as she leaned against him, but he could tell from her emotions that she was awake. He waited for her, watching as she looked up at him slowly and smiled when she met his eyes with a confused frown.

"Jasper?" Bella spoke his name softly as she tried to remember where she was.

"Hey Sweetheart," he smiled and watched as she rubbed her eyes.

"Where am I?" she asked as she looked around the room, not recognizing the décor but finding it somehow familiar.

"You're with us," he told her as she looked down at her borrowed clothes. "Those are Esme's."

"Why can't I remember coming over here?" she asked, looking up at him distractedly as she searched her mind for any memories of having been brought over to the Cullens' house.

"Do you remember talking with me outside of the pharmacy?" Carlisle asked as he stepped into the open doorway, his eyes on Bella.

"The pharmacy?" Bella repeated slowly as a blurred memory half formed in her mind. "Dramamine," she whispered.

"Yes, that's another thing we need to talk about," Carlisle said as he made his way over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Sweetheart, how long have you been using all those medicines?"

"Medicines?" Bella looked at him a slight bit of fear chilling her only to be calmed when Jasper rubbed her back.

"I know about the pills, sweetheart," Carlisle told her, his face a mask of concern. "Please tell me."

"Tell you what?" she asked softly, her voice barely heard to her own ears as she tried desperately to avoid the conversation he wanted to have.

Carlisle tucked her hair behind her ear as he smiled gently at her. Telling her that he wasn't upset with her, but only concerned, he told her that he had been made aware of the medicines she had been taking. He responded to the expression on his son's face, watching as Jasper tensed, the unconscious action telling Carlisle that Bella was becoming fearful once again. Kissing her forehead and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he held her tucked against his side and asked her when she had first started taking the medications, which one she started with first.

"Just after James," Bella admittedly slowly, looking down at her hands. "I didn't sleep well when Edward wasn't there and I couldn't really explain the…dreams to Charlie, so I picked up some Advil PM. I would take it instead of the codeine at night and it would keep me asleep."

Carlisle sighed silently as he rubbed her arm. "Which came next?"

"The No-Doz," she said, her voice never rising above much more than a whisper. "Sometimes I would feel…I don't know…hung over?" she said uncertain of the accuracy of her description. "It would be hard to wake up, hard to stay alert after taking the sleeping pills."

"Have you taken them the entire time since James?" he asked her and watched her shake her head.

"Only a few weeks. The…the dreams stopped and I was fine," Bella looked to Jasper when he touched his hand to her cheek and offered her a comforting smile.

"When did you start taking them again?" Carlisle asked and felt her tense slightly. "Tell me, sweetheart."

"About…about two days after Edward left," Bella said quietly and Jasper responded to her unease by taking her hand in between his own. "I don't…I don't actually remember those first two days," she admitted, squeezing Jasper's hand as he offered her comfort. "Charlie said I was…out of it."

"And the anti-nausea medicine?" Carlisle pushed for more and heard her heartbeat increase. "No one's upset with you, sweetheart," he promised her and kissed her head. "We're just concerned. You were on the verge of collapse when I found you at the pharmacy. Charlie's worried as well."

"Charlie?" Bella spoke her father's name in confusion. "How long have I been over here?"

"Almost three days," he told her and heard her breath still as her heartbeat raced wildly. "Bella?"

"Three days?" she choked out in alarm. "I have to – I have to go. Charlie's going to be home and I – "

"Bella, stop," Carlisle interrupted her as he caught her face gently in his hands and met her eyes. "Breathe, slow deep breaths. That's it, calm down, sweetheart. Charlie knows you're here," he told her as he released her and kissed her brow.

"He does?" she asked as she looked between him and Jasper. "What happened?"

Carlisle released a slow breath and wrapped Bella in his arms once more as he kissed her temple. Rubbing his hand over her arm, he sat with her quietly for a moment before asking her what she remembered. He watched her bite her lip, her brow furrowing as she struggled to capture a single solid memory. She looked up at him a moment later and shook her head.

"There are pieces of things," Bella said softly. "But nothing that makes any sense."

"What is your last solid memory?" he asked and watched her brows furrow once more. "Bella," he prompted her for an answer when she remained silent. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Alice driving me home after school," Bella said as she lifted a hand and rubbed her forehead above her eyes. "Everything is…fuzzy after that."

"Alice?" Carlisle looked up at Jasper and saw the tension and worry in written on his son's face.

"Tuesday," Jasper informed Carlisle, his voice below what Bella could hear. "Alice drove her home on Tuesday."

Carlisle nodded quietly and turned his attention back to Bella. He offered her what comforts he could before standing and offering her his hand. He smiled as she stood and led her from the bedroom. Kissing her brow before telling her that Esme had set clothes and a towel inside the bathroom, he encouraged her to take her time and enjoy a hot shower or a bath before joining them downstairs. He waited until she had closed herself inside the bathroom before moving down the hall and joining his wife and son in the kitchen.

"How bad?" Esme asked Carlisle, her eyes widening at his expression. "That bad?"

"Her last coherent memory is from Tuesday," Carlisle said and watched his wife's expression grow alarmed. "She's said that there are pieces of memories after that time, but nothing that is enough to make sense of. With as exhausted as she has been and the dehydration she was suffering…" his voice fell silent as he pursed his lips. "I'm honestly amazed that she didn't get into an accident while driving to school or collapse before now."

Jasper looked away from them, his brow furrowing as emotions on the very edges of his range broke through and caught his attention. Someone was coming closer to the house. They weren't close enough for him to identify who it was, but the emotions were…deceptive. Someone was trying to get closer without being seen, trying to come near his family. The feel of the person was selfish and somehow dark as though they were looking for an opportunity to strike and before he had time to pull his attention back from his talent, he snarled viciously and shot from the house.

"What the…? Stay here, Esme," Carlisle said as he moved to follow Jasper. "Keep Bella safe."

Carlisle moved quickly out of the back door, rounding the house and chasing after his son as he followed Jasper to the forest surrounding their house. His son was still snarling softly, the tone dangerous and protective. In the fifty years since Alice and Jasper had joined his family, Carlisle had learned one very important thing about his southern son, he would allow no threat against his family. The other thing he knew was that in the moment of responding to a threat, sometimes Jasper would forget to pull back enough to respond calmly.

Carlisle's eyes widened as he caught the flash of gold and called out to Jasper sharply. He recognized the color of the hair and the feel of the person they were chasing and wondered if his son had realized yet that it was Rosalie they were after. He watched Jasper still, his son looking back at him before casting his eyes toward the forest. These emotions were coming from Rosalie? He called out to her, telling her to reveal herself and waiting as she dropped from the tree she had escaped into.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jasper asked as he stared at her. "Your emotions read like a threat."

"Well I'm not the threat here," Rosalie snapped at him, her own lips curled in a snarl.

"Stop this, both of you," Carlisle commanded them and looked between his children. "Rosalie, why would you hide your presence from us? Why not simply come inside?"

"I heard _she_ was here," Rosalie said and glanced toward the house.

"Bella?" Carlisle looked at his daughter in confusion over the way she spoke the girl's name. "I thought you had settled your differences with her."

"She hasn't settled anything," Jasper said as he looked at Rosalie. "I won't let you upset her," he warned her.

"Is everything alright?" Esme asked as she appeared next to Carlisle. "Bella's still in the bath," she said in answer to her husband's curious look.

"The threat Jasper felt came from Rosalie," Carlisle said, his voice steady even as his emotions remained conflicted. "I think perhaps a woman's council would be best in this situation," he said and kissed Esme before walking back to the house with Jasper.

"Carlisle?" Jasper looked at him as they stepped inside the house, the man's emotions conflicting and confusing.

"She'll forever be angry with me," Carlisle said softly, his voice heavy with remorse. "I was selfish for forcing this life on her. I thought I was saving her."

"She's the selfish one," Jasper said with a disapproving glower. "She loves Emmett, but like a child she wants what she can't have. Her anger is not your fault."

"Carlisle? Where is everyone?" Bella asked softly, both men looking up as she stepped barefoot into the kitchen.

"Bella," Carlisle stepped toward her, greeting her with a smile as he led her to the island counter. "Have a seat, sweetheart," he motioned to the stools. "The others are still hunting," he told her as he lifted the lid from the large pot on the stove. "Rosalie just arrived home, she's outside with Esme. Here," he handed her a bowl that was mostly broth with a bit of chicken and a few noodles. "Start with that and if you keep it down you can always have more."

"Keep it down?" Bella looked at the bowl he set in front of her as she accepted the spoon from him. "You know about…" her voice trailed off as an embarrassed flush colored her cheeks.

"That you've been sick?" Carlisle asked and met her gaze when she looked up. "That your nightmares – " his voice fell silent at the sudden alarm that filled her expression, her face growing pale. "Bella?" he came around the counter and stood next to her as her heartbeat sped in an uncontrolled rhythm. "Bella, what is it?"

Bella remained silent as she stared at him, her breath stilling and catching painfully in her throat as her lungs burned with the need for air. She had done all she could to keep her nightmares hidden from them, the only person truly knowing about them to be Charlie. How many times had her father woken her because she was screaming in her sleep? How many times had her own screams woken her? That Carlisle knew that they _all_ knew she was having nightmares…

"Bella, you need to breathe!" Carlisle said sharply as he held her face in his hands. "Bella!" he barked her name and released a sigh of relief when her breath rushed from her and she took in gulps of air. "Don't scare me like that," he admonished her gently and kissed her brow as her breathing calmed. "What happened, sweetheart?" he asked as he sat on the stool beside her and looked into her eyes. "What upset you?"

"You," Bella clenched her jaw as her voice came out choked and thick to her own ears. "You know about…"

"Your nightmares?" Carlisle finished for her and nodded. "Yes, sweetheart we do. It is only recently that you've been able to sleep peacefully. No, shh," he soothed her when she seemed to panic again and he saw her eyes shine with the tears she was trying to hide. "Bella, sweetheart," Carlisle wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and rubbing her back. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're with family; we only wish to take care of you."

"She's afraid," Jasper told him with confusion, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "She was alright until you mentioned her nightmares and illness. For some reason it terrifies her that we know about it," he offered Carlisle the insight his talent gave him.

"Bella," Carlisle released his arms from around her and brought his hands to her face, tucking her hair behind her ears as he looked into her eyes. "Why are you afraid for us to know about your nightmares?" he asked and shook his head when he caught the look in her eyes. "Don't hide, sweetheart, you're safe here. Why does it scare you?"

"Charlie," she closed her eyes as she fought back her fear with difficulty. "Charlie knew about the nightmares," she said slowly, forcing the words out even as her fear screamed at her to be silent. "He was going to send me to Jacksonville. I didn't…he didn't say anything before about them and…" she fell silent, her stomach twisting with her fear, the emotion overpowering her ability to speak.

"We won't send you away," Carlisle promised her as he pulled her back into his arms and held her close. "I promise you that," he said and kissed her hair. "Did Charlie know that you were sick?" he asked a moment later as Bella pulled back and watched her shake her head silently. "Bella, this isn't the first time I've seen you hide your illness. Why do try so hard to hide it when you're sick or in pain?"

Jasper could feel her reluctance to answer and gently influenced her emotions, making her feel safe even as he made her more willing to answer. She bit her lip as she looked down at the soup in front of her, closing her eyes as she tried to keep her fear at bay. She was afraid they wouldn't understand, would possibly even see that she hadn't done a good enough job of taking care of things before, but even as she rubbed her lips together she felt the desire to tell him.

"When I was eight, I got…really sick," Bella shook her head before looking up at Carlisle. "I don't really remember much of what happened then, only that I felt tired and hot while I was at school. I remember falling asleep in class, but when I woke up I was in the hospital. Renee was…she was freaking out. She kept asking the doctor why I wasn't waking up and what was wrong with me. I'd never seen her that upset before."

Bella fell silent and looked back down at her soup bowl. Her voice was quiet when she spoke again, describing Renee's constant fear and fussing that only served to annoy the nurses and scare herself even more. Bella talked of how the doctor had started asking for Renee to leave the room when he examined Bella or talked with her about how she was feeling. Renee would simply get in the way, constantly asking what they were doing or second guessing the doctor when he ran tests that came back with no results.

"It didn't really seem like anything at first and the doctor thought that maybe it had just been a flu that had run its course while I was asleep. He said I had a really strong immune system for a child my age, but then when he was getting ready to release me, I started getting really sick. It was acting like a flu, but…I got a rash and he finally diagnosed it as Scarlett Fever. Renee just…" Bella shook her head. "The doctor ordered a sedative for her, she got that upset. I guess the only time she'd ever heard of it was from Little House on the Prairie and she kept telling him that he couldn't let me die." Bella looked up at Carlisle. "I didn't even feel that bad overall; it just felt like I had the flu."

Carlisle nodded silently. "Scarlett Fever is easily treatable now, but even fifty years ago it was still almost always fatal or had debilitating results for the survivors."

"I was pretty much cured in the next couple of days, but Renee was still upset and over attentive for almost a week after I was released. Until I was ten, if I had so much as a cough, she rushed me back to the hospital. We didn't have health insurance and I knew that she couldn't afford to keep doing that so I…"

"You hid your illnesses from her," Carlisle finished for her and Bella nodded. "Your injuries as well?"

"They're kind of one in the same," Bella shrugged. "A sprain or cut I could deal with on my own. I was careful not to get burned when I was cooking and the first time I had a broken bone was with James." She shook her head and sighed. "Clumsiness aside, as long as Renee didn't know or see that I was sick or injured, she was fine."

"And Charlie?" Carlisle asked and saw Bella shake her head.

"The first time death came calling," she tried to joke, "with Tyler and his van, Charlie was freaked out. He doesn't show it much in his expression, but he watched me like a hawk for almost a week after. Headaches were suspect to him and I just…"

"You hid it from him as well," Carlisle sighed and kissed her hair. "Finish your soup," he told her softly and rubbed her back before stepping away from her to look out the back window. "They've left?" he asked Jasper too low for Bella to hear.

"About five minutes ago," the southern vampire replied just as quietly. "Rosalie was still in a combative mood when they left."

Carlisle nodded quietly and turned his attention back to Bella, smiling softly to see that her bowl was empty. Asking her if she wanted more, he understood when she declined. It had never been an easy thing to get her to talk about her past; even when in the compliance of near sleep it had been difficult. Taking her dishes from her and telling her not to worry when she offered to clean up after herself, he led her into the living room. Bidding her to take a seat on the couch, he moved to the television and slipped a disc into the Blu-ray player while Jasper covered her with a blanket and sat beside her.

"I have it on good authority that you enjoy this particular film," Carlisle said as he returned to Bella's side and sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her as he reached for the remote.

"Beauty and the Beast?" Bella spoke the title with surprise as the movie began to play.

"Just rest now, Sweetheart," Carlisle encouraged as he held her tucked against his side. "Sleep if you feel tired."

Jasper moved into the kitchen, stirring the simmering chicken stew on the stove before covering the pot and turning the burner to its lowest setting. Though he wasn't too familiar with cooking, he knew enough not to let the food burn. Stepping out into the living room, he smiled as he felt the peacefulness settle over Bella again as she relaxed against Carlisle and watched the movie. Taking a seat next to her, he sandwiched her between himself and Carlisle, watching the movie with them both as he took comfort in the knowledge that she was finally and truly getting better. Taking out his cell phone with the intention of texting his wife, he chuckled silently when the device vibrated with an incoming message from Alice.

'_We'll be home in the morning'_ was her simple message and he smiled before tucking the device back in his pocket. It would do Bella good to see Edward, he thought, now that the events in her past had been flushed out she would be able to heal faster. He hoped that his brother would be able to talk to Bella about all that had happened and help her recover from that as well. She needed the support of her love, but more than that, she needed his reassurance that his feelings for her were real. Looking to Bella when he felt her emotions become still, he knew the moment she fell asleep with her head on Carlisle's chest.

"She's doing so much better now," Carlisle said with relief and affection as he turned off the movie when the credits began to roll.

"The others will be home in the morning," he informed Carlisle and lifted the blanket higher around Bella's shoulders, tucking it around her. "Hopefully now, she and Edward will truly be able to talk about everything."

"Yes, especially what happened in Italy," he said with a frown. "I do not like to think about what she had to witness. That never should have happened," he said and looked down on Bella's sleeping face as he held her closer. "I will never let anything happen to you, my daughter," he promised her quietly. "I will always keep you safe."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Son of a bitch," Charlie cursed beneath his breath and kicked the overnight bag he'd brought with him. "Full sun, my ass," he growled as he looked out at the wall of rain and rising water on the ground outside the window.

"You should call Bella and let her know we won't be back for a few days," Billy said as he sat leaning against the headboard of his bed.

"I tried, but the cell isn't working and we brought your truck instead of the cruiser. No radio," he told the man and fell heavily into a chair at the table. "I 'spose I could try the manager's office."

"That's a ten minute walk on a clear day," Billy shook his head and glanced at his wheelchair sitting against the wall. "My wheels won't make that."

Charlie stood from his chair and shook his head. There was at least a foot of standing water outside and the ground surrounding the cabins was nothing but packed earth to begin with. He'd be fighting his way through water and mud to get to the manager's office. The phone in the room wasn't working anymore or at least it hadn't been working this morning when they woke up. It had been a simple thunderstorm last night, but now? Charlie clenched his jaw as he grabbed his coat and zipped it with an angry jerk. Now it was raining so hard that he'd be lucky to see his hand in front of his face and it didn't look to be letting up anytime soon.

Mumbling out something unintelligible, he grabbed the door knob and stood ready for a fight. Wrenching the door open with a vicious yank, he jumped outside and pulled it closed as fast as he could. The less than five seconds the door had been open was just enough time for water to spill into the room and soak the front few feet of the carpeting. Billy sighed and shook his head. Charlie was stubborn as a damned ox and wouldn't listen to him. If the phone in the room wasn't working, what made that fool think the phone in the manager's office would be? Hell, who was to say the office was even open in this weather?

Looking up when the door opened and slammed shut not five minutes later, Billy's eyes grew wide. Charlie was soaked from head to foot, and while that wasn't surprising, the fact that he was also covered in mud from head to toe was. His friend's glare kept him from asking the question, the carpet making horrible squishing-wheezing sounds as Charlie made his way to the bathroom and shut the door. The sound of his clothes falling to the tiled floor was accompanied by muttered cursing and Billy shook his head as he was no longer able to hold back the gales of laughter.

**:::::**

Alice sighed with annoyance and shook her head. It would be so much easier if she could just tell Charlie that she could see the future so that he wouldn't do stupid things, but giving up that little bit of information would open an even bigger can of worms. Looking up at her brother's laugh, she met Edward's gaze and rolled her eyes as she called Charlie an idiot in her thoughts. Edward nodded his agreement as he explained the humor to Emmett and saw his brother's grin.

"Only vampires and wolves can get anywhere in that kind of downpour," Emmett said with a laugh. "Hey how's Bella doing?" he asked Alice and saw his sister's frown. "What?"

"Rosalie showed up," Alice said. "I didn't see her heading to the house. It's changed things."

"What kind of things?" Edward asked his voice holding an edge of anger even while it was heavy with concern.

"Bella's gone quiet. She knows Rose is there, but Esme won't let her in the house," her eyes moved back and forth quickly as she searched her visions. "She's pulling back and being almost completely silent again. I think she's afraid we'll leave again."

"What is Rose doing?" Emmett asked, torn between the want to understand his wife and the need to protect his human sister.

"Being Rose," Alice said with a heavy sigh. "She doesn't understand why they're taking care of Bella, why Bella would need them to or why Bella would willingly choose to be one of us. It would be one thing if Rose was willing to listen and trying to understand, but she's not. She's just all half-cocked and temperamental." She fell silent as she searched her visions. Shaking her head at Edward's sound of disagreement, she turned to him. "Stay here, Edward. Just for now, stay here. Emmett," she looked to her taller dark haired brother when she could tell Edward wouldn't listen.

"I got him, Ali," Emmett assured her with an arrogant smirk. "Go do what you need to do."

She nodded once to Emmett before disappearing into the woods, her mind half focused on her visions and half on the world around her. They were in the middle parts of the Canadian wilds and as fast as she knew she could run, it would be sunrise before she made it home. She hated that Rose had somehow gotten there first and only seemed to be causing trouble. Why couldn't her sister simply try to understand?

**:::::**

Esme pursed her lips as she studied Rosalie, her blonde daughter pacing back and forth restlessly. She wasn't certain if the movement served to calm her daughter's temperamental energy or if it was what was keeping the girl from running again, but no matter the reason behind it, the movement put Esme on edge. Taking in a breath to speak, she commanded her daughter's attention and spoke quickly, demanding to know why Rosalie was still so upset with Bella. Her human daughter had saved Edward, kept their family from falling apart completely and now that it was she who needed them, Rosalie turned hostile.

Rosalie exploded then, her anger and bigotry coming to the fore. It was her humanity that bothered her. If Bella had been a vampire she wouldn't have cared so much, but the fact that she was human and willingly giving up all the possibilities that her human life held enraged her. She shook her head, her pale gold curls flying angrily through the air as she vented all that she had been keeping inside. Bella wasn't dying, she wasn't hurt or sick or anything of that nature, but like the fool she was, Bella was willingly giving up her human life.

Rosalie didn't see Bella's love for Edward as being any kind of reason for giving up her mortality. Emotions changed, humans rarely stayed faithful and certainly, in her opinion, didn't know the first thing about the kind of love shared between mates. Her heart would change, Rosalie was sure of it, and then where would that leave Bella? She was certain that Bella would feel the same anger and resentment that she did.

"Rose!" Esme interrupted her daughter's ranting. "Have you ever thought that maybe Bella doesn't want the same things you wanted – still want?"

"You're a fool to think she doesn't," Rose spat at Esme. "You wanted it, Alice doesn't remember wanting it, every woman wants it."

"Not. Everyone," Esme said slowly, her tone edged with the roughness of the growl she was trying to suppress. "Rose, just because you wanted that doesn't mean that she does. You and I grew up in a different era. It was expected that we would get married and have children right away. That isn't the way it is anymore and you trying to cast that expectation on Bella is unfair to her. Now, go."

"Go?" Rosalie repeated her tone both disbelieving and angry. "Go where exactly?"

"Anywhere, just don't come back until you are calmer and can at least pretend to have an open mind. I won't let you near her right now," Esme said, denying her daughter entry to the house. "Go, Rose."

She waited for Rose to disappear into the woods before she turned and entered the house. Closing the door she locked it behind her. While Rosalie had a key, the action of locking the door would be a clear sign to the girl that she wasn't welcome at this time. Releasing a heavy breath, she turned at the feel of a hand on her shoulder and stepped into Carlisle's open arms. Returning his embrace as he dropped a kiss to her hair, she pressed her cheek to his chest and asked about Bella.

"She fell asleep with us on the couch earlier, but she's awake now and…quiet," Carlisle said, his brow furrowed with concern.

"Did something happen?" Esme asked as she pulled back just enough to look into his eyes.

"She went upstairs to the bathroom that's all," he offered with a shrug. "I have no idea what happened between then and now, but Jasper said her emotions have fallen again and that she seems overly cautious."

Esme's eyes closed; her expression one of sadness and regret as she dropped her head to her husband's chest. She reminded him that the large window in the bathroom looked out over the backyard and that she had opened the small French door window a few days ago to help air it out when Bella had been constantly sick. She would have seen them arguing in the backyard, Esme told him, and had more than likely heard what had been said as well.

"Rose wasn't even attempting to keep her voice down. She was angry and spiteful and didn't care who heard her," Esme said sadly. "Don't do that," she admonished her husband gently when she saw the look in his eyes. "This isn't your fault. You may have changed her, yes, but her continued anger is her fault not yours."

"It doesn't feel that way," Carlisle said softly and Esme leaned up on her toes to kiss him.

"It is that simple," she promised him. "Where's Bella now?"

"With Jasper in the library," he said with a soft chuckle. "I think she still must be tired because she's letting him dote on her."

"Either that or she doesn't know what to make of all this yet," Esme smiled as she stepped out of Carlisle's arms and moved to the stove.

Lifting the lid from the slow simmering stew, she stirred the shredded chicken and noodles around before adding in the last bits of potato and carrots. Replacing the lid, she moved through the house with Carlisle following her and came to a stop in the open doorway of the library. Bella and Jasper were seated on the couch by the window, his arm wrapped around her as he held a book open in between them. His voice was soft as he read to her, his tone soothing and melodic. Turning his head to kiss Bella's temple, he looked up and caught Esme's eyes.

"She's almost out again," he said too low for Bella to hear.

"Is that your doing or is she just relaxed?" Esme asked with a teasing grin.

"A bit of both," he answered. "She still won't say what upset her."

"I think she heard Rose and I talking," Esme told him as she stepped into the room and sat down beside Bella. "Hi, Sweetheart," she greeted Bella, combing her fingers through the lower parts of the girl's dark hair.

"Esme?" Bella spoke her name softly and met the woman's eyes uneasily. "I should…I should go."

"No," Esme quieted her easily. "You are going to stay right here with us. You are part of my family, too. Don't you ever forget that. Now," she tucked Bella's hair behind her ear. "Do you feel up to eating a little more of the stew for me?"

Bella remained silent as she nodded, her eyes cast to the side. She couldn't help the thought that she was to blame for the upset between Rose and everyone else. Esme rubbed her arm as she offered Bella encouragement and stood from the couch. Holding out her hand, she smiled when Bella placed her palm in hers and stood from the couch. It had often seemed as though Bella kept herself at a distance from them in the past and she wondered if the girl was simply afraid to get too close. Wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders, she led her from the room and out into the kitchen.

"Have a seat," Esme smiled and nodded toward the stools at the island. "How are you feeling, Sweetheart?" she asked as she reached up to the cupboard on the right of the sink and withdrew a bowl.

"I'm ok," Bella said softly and Esme pursed her lips silently when she saw the all-too familiar signs of Bella pulling away emotionally.

"I'll make you a deal," Esme said as she set the stew in front of her with a spoon. "You allow yourself the comfort you need from us, let us take care of you emotionally as well as the rest of it," she said as she set down a glass of water next to her, "and we will answer any questions you have."

"Even if it's about being changed?" Bella asked, her eyes down cast to the bowl of soup as she used the spoon to play with the noodles and chicken.

"Yes," Esme answered. "Even if it's about that."

"Edward doesn't want me to know," Bella said softly, her brow furrowed as she pushed away the anger and hurt his refusal of the subject made her feel. "Even after Italy after…on the plane he…"

"He what?" Esme asked, pushing gently for more as she took a seat on the stool next to her.

"He said that…" she looked down at the stew as she pushed around the chicken in the bowl. "He said that I wouldn't have to worry about any of that. That he could keep Caius from finding out. He said that I wouldn't have to worry about…"

"Being changed," Esme finished for her and watched Bella nod.

"He doesn't want me. He says he does and I want to believe him, but…"

"But the more he pushes you away," Esme reached out and swept Bella's hair over her shoulder.

Bella turned her head and met Esme's eyes for a fleeting moment, the pain in them causing Esme's heart to ache. Bella shook her head, biting her lip as she returned her eyes to the bowl in front of her. Lifting a spoonful of the soup, she tried to hide her grimace as she ate the food and swallowed with difficulty as she forced it down. Whenever her emotions were as raw as they were now it made it difficult for her to eat. She closed her eyes, dropping the spoon back into the bowl as her stomach rebelled and she ran from the table.

"Bella, here," Esme caught up to her quickly and led her to a small bathroom hidden in the laundry room. "Here, sweetheart," she said and pulled the toilet lid and seat up seconds before Bella vomited. "Oh honey," she mourned her human daughter's pain and rubbed her back as she held back her hair. "Come on," she said moments later when Bella sat back and wiped her mouth with a tissue. "Let's get you to bed. I think sleep my help."

"Why am I not good enough?" Bella whispered the question before she could stop herself and slapped a hand over her mouth when she realized she'd spoken her thought out loud.

"Oh, Bella no," Esme wrapped her in her arms and held her close as she tried to offer her comfort.

The soothing comforts, the softly whispered words and motherly embrace crumbled her unstable control over emotions further and Bella gripped the back of Esme's blouse in a desperate hold as she sobbed into her shoulder. She couldn't make the tears stop, couldn't silence her pain or shut out her emotions and the more she tried the harder she cried. Esme tightened her hold, making certain to be careful of holding her too tightly, and looked up to find Carlisle standing in the doorway.

He was silent as he knelt down beside them. Reaching out one hand, he touched her hair and fought back the desire to take her from his wife. It was no secret that he tended to feel quite possessive and protective when one of his family was hurting, his desire to hold them close always welcomed by his wife and Alice, though he held back with the others. Rosalie would never accept it, her anger often kept her from accepting much from him. He scooted closer to Esme, his arm going around her back as they both shifted and Bella was moved to be held in between them.

"Baby girl," Carlisle kissed her hair and held her wrapped in his arm, Esme folding around them as they both held her closely. "Sweetheart, you are more than good enough," he promised her, neither one seeing Jasper standing in the laundry room outside as he used his talent to make her more willing to voice the thoughts she kept hidden.

"Not for Charlie," she hiccupped around her tears. "Not for Edward. Not for R-Renee," she kept her face buried as she cried.

"What do you mean 'not for Renee'?" Esme asked her softly as she pushed gently against Bella's shoulder encouraging her to recline in the comfort of Carlisle's arm.

Bella looked down, sniffling against her tears as she tried to make them stop. She hated to think about that time and wanted to speak of it even less. She didn't know why she said anything in the first place, but before she could stop herself, the whole painful story was pouring out of her. It had been the first time Renee had gone out on a date or had any kind of relationship since the divorce that Bella had known about. Her heart hurt, her head hurt and her voice was choked by her tears as she spoke, Carlisle's arm wrapped tightly around her as she found herself holding Esme's hand.

He had been her teacher. Renee had met him on parent-teacher night, one of the few ones she actually remembered to attend. He hadn't told her mother that he was married and although Bella had several classes with his daughters, she had believed him to be separated due to his lack of a wedding ring. She didn't know that his ring was an eternity ring or that several of the stones had become dislodged and was undergoing repairs. He would often come over to their house, spending night after night with Renee. He carried on a relationship with her, the implication of something more permanent always being danced around.

His twins knew they were dating and had confronted Bella instead of their father. They had found a picture of Renee with him, a series of them actually, taken in a photo booth outside the local movie theatre. They blamed Bella for their father's indiscretion, often tripping her during gym class or making snide and hurtful remarks in the lunchroom where their audience would be the largest. The longer the relationship lasted the more damaging their remarks came. The older of the pair, by two minutes, had even gone so far as to spill boiling water on her hand during their earth science/chemistry class. Bella had hidden the abuse, made excuses and kept silent out of fear that it would get worse.

The relationship had lasted for a long time, the ending coming in such a public manner that neither of them had expected. The man's wife had confronted them in a local diner, one that most of Bella's classmates and families frequented. Bella had been out with her mother and teacher that day, she hadn't wanted to be there, but Renee had insisted. The woman, her teacher's wife, had been vicious in her verbal attacks, ignoring Bella completely to tear into her mother like some kind of rabid beast. Renee had been devastated, beyond humiliated, but worse than that, the woman had her daughters with her. The bullying in school had escalated, but Bella hid the truth of it from her mother and her teacher – as always – had turned a blind eye to it.

"No one intervened?" Carlisle asked her as the story came to an end and Bella shook her head quietly.

"They were the children of a teacher," Bella offered quietly with a shrug.

"That shouldn't make a difference," he rebutted, his voice gentle but firm.

"Maybe it shouldn't, but it did," Bella said as she grew tired and relaxed against Carlisle, his arm tightening around gently in a silent promise of protection. "It was one of those grey areas where family-matters and school policy kind of just…I don't know…cancelled each other out, I guess. People saw, lots of people saw, but no one said or did anything."

"How bad did it get?" Esme asked softly.

Bella bit her lip as she looked down. "Bad," she said softly and rubbed her arm.

"Bella?" Carlisle tipped her chin up, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "Tell us."

"It's never been a secret that I'm afraid of spiders. I just," she shook her head. "I don't – I don't like them. I don't even know how they did it, but one morning I opened my desk and it was full of spiders. I remember that I screamed and everyone laughed, but I don't remember much after that. Three days later I was attending a different school, but I don't remember anything in between. I was just suddenly in a different school," she said with a shrug.

"Bella," Carlisle met her gaze, his expression troubled. "Would you object to me pulling your medical file?"

"No," she said with confusion, unable to understand how they had changed subjects.

"Ok," Carlisle kissed her brow and moved slowly, the three of them standing up awkwardly in the small space. "Do you feel up to trying something else to eat? Maybe some applesauce or pudding?"

"What kind of pudding?" Bella asked and Carlisle smiled.

"I have chocolate and vanilla," Esme offered and led her back into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Jasper," Carlisle said softly, his son stepping out of the shadows.

The southern vampire simply nodded once though his face was a mask of tightly controlled anger. Excusing himself and stepping outside the back door, Jasper made his way down the porch steps and over the large boulder sitting in the backyard. Those children had been cruel to her, downright abusive and no one had stepped in to help her. No one had protected Bella back then, least of all her mother. It was a parent's job to protect their child, but Renee hadn't. He looked up, his dark amber eyes moving toward the forest as the first strands of sunlight began to color the morning sky in vibrant reds.

"Alice," he whispered his wife's name as she appeared through the trees and the next instant he held her wrapped in his arms.

"I'm home now, Jas," she promised him as he kept his face buried in her hair. "Everything will be ok, I've seen it. It's just going to take time."

"Humans or not, those girls are damn lucky that what happened took place in another state and almost a decade ago," he growled as he pulled back from the embrace and led her inside.

"How is she?" Alice asked Jasper, her eyes wide and sad.

Jasper shook his head and sighed. "I wish I had the words. It's hard to accurately describe what she's feeling right now."

"Alice," Esme spoke her daughter's name with surprise as she walked into the kitchen.

"Esme," Alice stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, the matriarch of their coven holding her tightly. "I didn't see Rose until she was already here, I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart, no," Esme denied her apology and rubbed her back. "It's not your fault that she showed up here like she did and as much as we have all come to rely on your talent, sometimes life just happens."

"How's Bella?" Alice asked when Esme released her from the hug and frowned when her adoptive mother grew quiet. "Esme?"

"She's with Carlisle," Esme said softly. "She's…I don't know exactly, she's not really talking anymore."

"I don't understand," Alice shook her head, her eyes unfocused. "Carlisle's determined to look over her medical records are you're almost dead set on calling Renee, but I can't see beyond that. What…?" she let question hang unfinished in the air as she turned her gaze on Esme.

"There are some things; some…gaps in Bella's memory from when she was a child. She has entire days that are missing and it's concerning both Carlisle and I. Especially with the events surrounding them," Esme said with a sad sigh. "She's upstairs with Carlisle. She's more awake than she has been since he brought her home, but she's still letting him hold her and comfort her. I think it's the only thing that's keeping us both sane right now."

"_Jasper."_

The southern vampire's mouth pulled up at one corner in a sad crooked grin when he heard Bella's soft voice from the floor above. He could tell by both her emotions and the tone of her voice that she was mostly asleep, her emotional release and the revelation of the untold story from her youth having exhausted her. Kissing Alice's cheek, he left her with Esme and moved toward the stairs, taking them two at a time as he moved with his natural vampire speed. He was by her side with her next breath, his boots removed before climbing into the bed.

"I'm here, Bella," he promised her as he curled against her back, the girl lying tucked into Carlisle's side.

She made a soft sound, something between a sigh and a moan, as she wrapped her arm around the one he had laid over her waist. She relaxed completely against Carlisle then as she slept sandwiched in between her adoptive vampire father and brother. The feel of them surrounding her offered her a kind of comfort and protection that was unmatched and Jasper smiled softly as he felt peace once more infuse her emotions. Kissing her hair, he looked up and met Carlisle's eyes, the man's jaw set in a determined hold.

"Not that you don't have every reason to be, but you've been upset since she opened up about Renee's affair, worse since her mention of the spiders," Jasper observed, his unspoken question implied in his tone.

"She has at least three days that are missing, possibly more," Carlisle said quietly, the bent fingers of one hand brushing against Bella's sleep warmed cheek. "I'm almost certain she had a panic attack or went into some kind of shock. She doesn't strike me as the kind of person to block memories from herself."

"No, she isn't," Jasper agreed quietly. There's something else that's been bothering you," he said softly. "Something from last night or this morning."

"Scarlett Fever," Carlisle said as Esme and Alice entered the room and came to sit on the foot of the bed next to their husbands. "What Bella described – feeling unusually hot and tired…I treated Scarlett Fever. I have seen what happened to humans before the discovery of Epinephrine and the invention of the defibrillator. I very much doubt that she simply passed out as she seems to think she did."

"You think she died?" Esme asked with wide horror-filled eyes.

"At least briefly, yes," Carlisle answered. "Her medical file will tell me more."

"She's sleeping better," Alice said her lips curved slightly.

"Why didn't you say anything about her condition sooner, Alice?" Carlisle asked and watched as his normally jovial daughter pursed her lips and frowned.

"Because of Edward. He would've made things worse and she needed what he couldn't give her. The only reason he isn't home right now is because Emmett is keeping him out hunting until I send the all clear," she answered as she studied Bella's sleeping face. "He would have seen her upset and blamed himself without ever looking for anything deeper. She needed you."

"Hush, baby girl," Carlisle soothed Bella gently when she whimpered in her sleep. "I'm right here." He petted her hair slowly until she calmed again and cast his gaze back on Alice. "What happened in Italy?"

Alice pressed her lips tightly together for a moment before taking in a breath to speak. She told of gathering Bella from Forks, the desperation of her vision and the mad race they had made from the airport to Volterra. She spoke of the times that Bella had nearly hyperventilated in the car, her heart speeding in a rhythm that seemed somehow dangerous. She spoke of the confrontation in the gated alleyway followed by their trek beneath the city and the often times that Bella was made to travel in a vampire fashion.

"She was beyond terrified the entire time," Alice said softly, "but doing a damned good job of playing it off as though she was calm and collected."

Alice's voice grew softer, her hold tightening on the hand Jasper held as she spoke of being led into the throne room, the Masters' chambers. Aro's focus had been on Edward at first, his expression somehow both angry and hungry as though he desired to possess and consume her brother in one go. The ancient vampire had ordered Bella killed which, in less than a second's passing, had led to a battle between Felix and Edward while Alice herself had been held tightly in Demetri's iron hold. She had tried to fight him at one point, to go to Edward or Bella only for the vampire to change his grip and, though she hadn't been able to see them, she had felt the cracks forming along her arm. His message had been clear: _stop fighting or lose your arm._

Bella's screams had stopped the battle, Aro's hand stilling the fight when the human girl had begged for them to take her life if only to spare Edward's. No human had made such a cry before, no such mortal being willing to sacrifice their life for their immortal love's and Aro had been humbled by her. He had read Edward then, seen how incredibly powerful of a shield Bella would be even if Edward remained blind to the fact. Aro's talent was light years beyond Edward's, but not even the ancient vampire had been able to penetrate Bella's silent mind.

He had maintained that she could not remain human though and all three had feared he meant to keep them bound within the walls of Volterra. She had stepped forward, Alice told them, offering Aro her hand so that he could see her vision. She had to do it, there was no other choice, no other way out, but she knew in that moment it would be a mistake. Aro was able to see the full breadth of her power, the visions that she could see and how she was able to protect her family with them and in the moment that his hand touched hers, he wanted her. If it wouldn't have meant a full on war with Carlisle, she knew that he would have tried something, anything to keep the three of them there and never let them be free from the Volturi.

It was as they were leaving that the worst of it had come, the parade of humans being led to the slaughter like so many cattle. They had been near the end of the hall, standing by the doors of the elevator and awaiting the motorized cart that would carry them away when the screams had started. Alice was certain that Bella had been on the edges of a panic attack then, her heartbeat too fast and breathing so shallow that she had to remind Bella to actually take a breath at several points. She had trembled all the way to the airport and the entire way home. In fact, the only thing that stopped her trembling, Alice told them, was when she had seen Carlisle.

She had seen two outcomes at that point, one born of Bella's desires and the other born of what she would make herself do. Bella had wanted so badly to fall into Carlisle's arms, to sob and cry out her fear as he held her, but she wouldn't. She had done her best to stand strong even as her exhaustion robbed her of the ability to walk on her own. She wouldn't allow herself the comfort that she had needed for fear of what would happen after.

Carlisle's arms tightened around Bella as he held her closer, protecting her from all that had happened and he watched as Alice looked up at him, her eyes both grateful and somehow broken by his unspoken request. She moved without hesitation, without any thought to the contrary and tucked herself against Carlisle's side, his arm wrapping around her in a welcomed embrace. He turned his head and kissed her short hair, whispering to her as he promised that he would never let her be taken from them. She trembled against him as she curled closer, her cheek pillowed on his chest as her arm wrapped over his abdomen and he knew that she was crying.

There was barely enough room, but Esme laid down behind Alice, her arms wrapping around her visionary daughter as she promised Alice the same protection Carlisle had. The four of them remained locked together in the bed, their arms wrapped around each other as they all both offered and took comfort. This was his family, Carlisle thought, no one would take them from him and no one would harm them, not without one hell of a fight. He heard the back door open and close, the steps on the stairs even as his daughter tried to remain silent and met her eyes when Rosalie stepped into the open doorway.

She had listened to Alice, to Bella, he could see the truth of it in her eyes. She was still angry and in some ways might always be, but there was a change. She nodded to him once and he returned the gesture, his expression softening into one of relief. She understood and though she still believed Bella should remain human and take full advantage of her mortal life, she would stand by him and protect her family. There was room for her if she wanted it, Carlisle's expression told her and Rosalie gave soft chuckle as she raised one perfect blonde brow at the bed. There was no room in the bed at all, and while she took a seat in the wingback chair close to the bed, she understood his implied meaning. There would always be room in his heart for her, no matter how angry she was or how much she blamed him, he would always love her.

Alice turned her head, looking at Rosalie and nodded once before turning back and resting against Carlisle again. The blonde took her phone from within her pocket, ignoring the missed calls on the screen and opened her messaging application. She didn't click on any of the conversations already present, but instead opened a new one and included both her husband and her brother in her simple message. There were only two words, nothing more was needed, but they were powerful in their meaning.

'_Come home.'_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Eight hours had passed from the time Bella had fallen asleep tucked in between Carlisle and Jasper on the large bed to when she woke up and she was both confused and strangely affected by what she found. Carlisle was still holding her, Jasper still tucked against her back, his arm wrapped around her. Alice was tucked against Carlisle's other side; her head resting on his chest and when she met Bella's gaze, she smiled. Alice didn't say anything, waiting for Bella to look around more and get the full affect of the family that surrounded her. She watched as Bella looked up and an angle and knew that she had caught sight of Esme lying tucked behind her.

"Good morning, Bella," Esme greeted softly, reaching out her hand to brush her fingers over Bella's sleep-warmed cheek.

"Bella," she looked toward the foot of the bed at his familiar honey-smooth tone and took in a stuttered breath.

"You're home," she said softly, the tears gathered in her eyes falling upon her cheeks.

"I'm home," Edward promised with a slow nod.

His brow furrowed when her eyes moved away from him and Edward looked behind him, following her gaze only to smile. Emmett and Rosalie were standing near the window, their attention focused on her as they stood wrapped in each others' arms. He turned back to Bella and leaned forward from where he sat as he rested his hand on her ankle, drawing her attention silently.

"We're all here," Edward told her and she nodded quietly.

Bella laid her head back down on Carlisle's chest, her tears falling faster as she remained quiet. She had no words to speak of what she felt, her heart feeling both constricted and overflowing with emotions that confused her and set her free. She felt his arms tighten around her as Carlisle held her closer and kissed her hair. Jasper rubbed her arm, using his talent to brush against her spirit with the warmth of the love they all felt for her. Bella wasn't sure why the sight and feel of the family surrounding her made her cry, but the more she tried to stop the tears, the less control she had over them.

Carlisle held her closer, his voice soft as he spoke soothing comforts to her. She wasn't upset, though. Jasper spoke for her, his talent allowing him the insight needed to understand that the tears she shed now were not born of sorrow or fear. Rather, her tears now were the product of love. Her heart burned with the love she felt. Her spirit so overflowing with the depth of care his family brought to her that she had no words, no other way to express what she felt than by the tears that ran in rivers down her cheeks. She felt the gentle pressure of Carlisle's lips against her head when he kissed her and her hand fisted in his shirt.

"We love you too, Bella," Carlisle promised her upon a whisper.

He held her until she quieted, his family remaining in the bed with him as they each touched her in some manner to let her know that they were there. Her tears freed her, gave her hope and in a way she didn't understand, made her feel reborn. The darkness that had always shadowed her heart, the fear of the unknown of an ending she couldn't control, had been lifted in the moments that she spent wrapped in Carlisle's embrace. He kissed her hair as he sat up with her, Alice, Jasper and Esme sitting up from their reclined positions as well.

Carlisle smiled as he watched Edward hold out his hand to Bella. His son said nothing, instead letting his actions speak for him as he asked Bella for her trust. She bit her lip, lifting one hand to wipe away the tears from her face as she blushed and placed her other hand in his. Edward was slow and careful as he helped Bella up from his father's bed, wrapping her in his arms as soon as they both were standing. He tilted her face up to his with a finger curled beneath her chin and kissed her chastely, tasting the salt from her tears.

He held her close for long moments, taking pleasure in the warmth of her embrace as they stood wrapped in each others' arms. He smoothed her hair back from her face, tucking it behind one ear before he took her hand. Leading her down the hall, he smiled as they walked into his room and she stood waiting as he bent down to remove the mess of books from his white settee. She laughed softly, shaking her head in confused wonder when he produced a blanket from seemingly nowhere. Wrapping the warm cloth around her shoulders, he led her to sit down with him and reclined back, holding her on his chest as he selfishly enjoyed the quiet moments with her.

"Did you want a bath?" Edward asked her softly a few moments later.

Bella sighed softly and nodded, her cheek rubbing against his shoulder with the movement. He chuckled at the feel of it and asked for her thoughts, kissing her hair when she remained silent. Her brows furrowed deeply, her lip caught between her teeth as she gathered the courage she needed to speak the fears she had kept hidden away. Her voice was soft at first; hesitant as she asked him for the truth of his thoughts and he frowned in confusion. Lifting her, shifting her until she was lying on top of him, their chests pressed together, he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"What are you asking me?" Edward asked her and watched as sadness and uncertainty filled her dark eyes.

"I need to know what you think of me," Bella said softly. "I just…I need to know. I need you to be honest."

"I love you, Bella," Edward told her, lifting his head just enough to kiss her lips. "I love you and I always will."

"I…" she paused and looked down at her hands folded on his chest. "It just…it feels like you don't…think I'm strong enough. The more," she paused again as the words caught in her throat. "The more you insist that I don't have to worry about Caius or try to…try to keep me human, the more it feels like you're telling me that you don't want me." She looked up at him then, her heart demanding that she look into his eyes when she spoke her last thought. "It feels like…like you're telling me that I'm not good enough for you."

Edward's voice was breathless when he spoke, his face a mask of hurt and regret as he sat up, holding her in his lap as he kept her wrapped in his arms. All the times that he had been trying to tell her that she was too good for him and somehow the message had been sent in reverse. He had never meant, never wanted to hurt her and for all his good intentions he had somehow done just that. He shook his head, holding her face in his hands as stared deeply into her eyes and promised her of his love. She meant more to him than he could ever express and it was the fear of losing her that had him trying so desperately to keep locked safe in a tight glass case.

She wasn't fragile, she wasn't breakable, she told him. She wanted to be strong for him, to prove to him that she was enough to be with him. She felt as though he believed her to be too fragile, not nearly strong enough to be a vampire and that scared her. She couldn't stand the thought of him leaving her again; everyone had always left in one way or another. Her eyes widened, her hand moving quickly to cover her mouth. She hadn't wanted to speak that thought, hadn't wanted to give voice to the fears that it was her that was the problem, but the truth couldn't be denied. She couldn't remain quiet then and her fears came rushing forth, her thoughts spoken aloud without her permission as her voice seemed to have taken on a mind of its own.

Charlie hadn't wanted her, she told him. The memories that she had of Charlie when she was very young had been relegated to him holding her only to give her away and force her to go with her mother. Renee hadn't known how to be a mother, hadn't even seemed very much to try and it had been left up to her to take care of them both. The few summers that she had visited Charlie when she was young he didn't seem to want very much to be with her. He had always been quiet, it was part of his nature, but those few summers following the divorce, she felt as though he had been pushing her away.

She spoke of Renee, of her mother's forgetfulness and how many times she had to walk home from school because she had been forgotten there. She tried to stop speaking, but her voice continued on without her approval and she knew that she had held everything in for too long. Tears came into her eyes again as she spoke of Brian Donnelly, the one and only boy she had ever dated before Edward. It had been back in Phoenix and she had gone on only one date with him to a school dance. It had been there that he had danced under the softly glowing lights with her only for his ex-girlfriend to walk up during a slow song and slap Bella as hard as she could across the face.

Brian hadn't wanted to go out with her because he was interested in her, she had discovered. He had asked her out for one – and only one, reason: to make his ex jealous. As soon as she had slapped Bella, his attention had left her where she had fallen on the floor and he had taken the other girl into a dance amidst the laughter of her classmates. She had picked herself up off the floor, no one had been there to help her, no one had even seemed to care and she had ran all the way home. She had wanted to fall into Renee's arms, to cry out the pain and humiliation only to find that her mother had been trying to make something on the stove for dinner and left the pot unattended with the burner turned on high.

It was that event that one moment that seemed to drive all the other life lessons home. She meant nothing. Her pain, her happiness, her life, it all meant nothing. She would never be the one anyone wanted and it was why it was so hard for her to believe that Edward did. It was why it was so easy for her to believe his lie that he didn't want her anymore. It never made sense that he loved her in the first place. She continued on, her fears coming out and when Edward realized that the reason she wasn't stopping was because she couldn't, he did the only thing he could think of.

Bella gasped when her words were silenced by his mouth, Edward's lips upon hers as he kissed her. His hand fisted into her hair at the back of her head, holding her close as he showed her the love he felt for her. His mouth moved against hers and she whimpered, her hands fisting in his shirt and hair as she returned his kiss with hunger and need. His arm was a steel band around her back, holding her tightly as he fell back with her lying on top of him, their mouths never breaking contact. Her breathing quickened, her heart racing in a mad rhythm that he could feel against his chest.

Her scent changed; flowers and vanilla darkening into honey and spice. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, but he couldn't make love to her. Not yet and not like this. He calmed their kisses, slowing their passionate embrace until she lay panting and blushing on his chest. He combed his fingers through her hair, staring into her eyes as he promised her of all the love he felt for her. Rubbing her back as he spoke to her, he realized just how much of a fool he had been and how deeply the actions he had taken in an effort to protect her had hurt her instead.

She was made for him, he told her. Someone up there, he promised her and glanced briefly at the ceiling, had brought before him paradise and salvation in one beautiful gift when she had entered his life. She had it wrong, he told her. It wasn't she who wasn't good enough for him. He was the one who was undeserving of her. She was perfect, precious and completed him in ways he had never before thought possible. Her eyes widened at his next words, her voice unable to answer his question as she stared at him silently.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I'm a fool and I don't deserve you, but will you stand with me forever?" Edward asked her again as tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

She framed his face in her hands and met his lips with hers. She couldn't speak, she felt too much to speak her answer. He returned her kiss, holding her close and smiling when she pulled back and nodded. He brushed her cheeks with his fingers, smoothing across her silken skin as he memorized the feel of her. Lifting his chin, he kissed her forehead and asked if she had ever been able to speak with Renee or Charlie about all that had happened to her, the bullying most especially.

"No," Bella said quietly, barely able to hear her own voice. "Renee, she…she never talked about the bad and Charlie…I don't think I've ever really known how to talk to him. He and I just kind of…I don't know. It's easier and more comfortable for us to sit in silence than it is for us to talk to each other."

"You should talk to him," Edward advised her as he held her tucked against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "He would want to know."

"Even after all this time?" Bella asked and Edward nodded.

"Even after all this time," he repeated with a pouting smile. "Go on," he encouraged and helped her up from his settee. "Go take a bath and when you come down stairs, there will be some food waiting for you."

"Oh," her eyes closed as her face fell into sadness and regret. "I've been sick and she's been so great and..."

"Don't worry about Esme," Edward chuckled and kissed her forehead. "She knows and she loves mothering you."

"She's amazing, they both are," she said as he hugged her.

"They love you," he promised her. "We all do. Now go relax a bit, ok?"

She nodded and stepped into the bathroom, smiling to find that it was Alice's clothing waiting for her on the counter instead of Esme's this time. He waited until she closed the door before moving downstairs and found Carlisle sitting behind the desk in his office. He frowned as he read his father's thoughts and stepped closer to the desk, sitting down in one of the chairs as he waited for the man to speak. Bella's full medical file had come in much faster than he had expected it would. Her file having been forwarded the year before when Charlie had called Renee about Bella's near disaster with the van.

"She did die," Carlisle said softly without looking up. "She passed out in her school and it took them almost two minutes to revive her after she coded in the ambulance on the way to the hospital." Carlisle looked up and met his son's eyes then.

"And the other thing, with the spiders?" Edward asked, Carlisle having shown him everything that had been revealed by Bella.

"Severe panic attack. She became completely unresponsive. Two of the spiders bit her and while the venom would not normally have been enough to affect a human, the bites did get infected." Carlisle sighed deeply, his lips pursing in displeasure as his brow furrowed in a mix of worry and anger. "She only believes that three days passed because the incident happened on a Monday and she started her new school then on a Friday. In truth though, a full week passed in between. She wasn't simply afraid of spiders, she had a phobia."

"Medications?" Edward shook his head as Carlisle's fragmented thought caught his attention.

"She was put on mild sedatives to help her with her anxiety. At least there is a prescription for one, but per her records and the notes made, there is no mention of it ever being filled," Carlisle told him.

"Esme?" Edward asked and Carlisle gave a soft chuckle.

"On the phone with Renee," he said with an oddly satisfied smile. "She said she wanted to have a discussion with her, _mother to mother_," he repeated Esme's words.

"She's too far away for me to hear her thoughts," Edward said and Carlisle laughed.

"She went to Bella's house to get her some clothes," he grinned. "Alice has assured us that Charlie and Billy will need to be toed out of the cabins. The water rose high enough to damage the electric handicap controls that allow Billy to drive the truck."

"How long?" Edward chuckled.

"The middle of next week. The phones won't even be up at the cabin until Monday," Alice said as she stepped into the room. "She's going to be alright, Edward. It's over now. Bella can finally let go of all the pain and move forward. She's going to be happy and your wedding is going to be beautiful."

"Happy endings, Alice?" Edward asked her with a teasing grin.

"Always."

AN: Thank you all for taking this journey with me. Your reviews bring a smile to my face.


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